Embrace your freshman 15

You have made it through three weeks of class. You are back into the swing of things and remembered how to be a good student- do work and down shots, preferably at the same time. Being a good student doesn’t mean going hungry.  Bwog is here for you with this guide to study snacking:

Reading for LitHum/CC: Get yourself a cup of coffee from Joe and box of Stella d’Oro biscotti to dip.  If you’re going to read classical works, you need to do it right.  Plus, that cup of coffee will keep you from falling asleep as Homer recounts his “Catalogue of Ships.” You did read the Iliad, right?

Engineering Problem Set: For this you will need a bag of pretzels.  These should be bite sized, not anything that takes longer to hold than to shove into your chompers—you need your hands to be free.  Crunching these goodies will be cathartic as you struggle to remember what the quantum field theory involved.

Music Hum Response: Nourish yourself in both listening and eating with a pack of Mott’s applesauce and for God’s sake, don’t drown out Verdi with your loud ass slurping.  Add a big glass of Merlot to drown your sorrows once things go south while appearing classy.

Writing An Essay: A bag of Goldfish (This, not this) should sustain you through your writing woes.  Easy enough to toss into your mouth, but also interesting enough to distract you when you need to end up procrastinating—bite off its head, bite off its tail, crunch it. Oops, time for a glass of water! Rinse and repeat. (For your sake, don’t end up doing the Cinnamon Challenge with Goldfish) Teddy Grahams will also work.

CompSci Programming: Bottle of Captain Morgan.  That is how computers work, right?

What this editor dreams about via Wikimedia Commons