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Carman’s New Living Wall: The Experience

Following the renovation of JJ’s Place, Columbia Housing has been at it again. Bwog’s urban horticulturalist, Sarah T., ventures out to Carman’s basement  for a leafy surprise.

After a wild night at the Heights, you stumble back into Carman and utter “wassup” to the security guard in the soberest voice you can muster. But wait! There’s more… to Carman than meets the eye. Instead of stumbling to the elevator, you and your friends want to host a symposium in the redesigned Carman lounge, Alcibiades style. Clutching the railing, you plunk your way down those treacherous stairs. There appears the most splendid sight available in a concrete jungle—the new Living Wall.

Super curious about what this means, you and your friends discuss its juxtaposition of animate and inanimate features before crowding around the sign to read more. The sign indicates it is a “hydroponic system supporting over 4,000 plants.” 4,000? That’s about how many shots you can have before you get drunk.

A quick look at the water in the basin reveals a few bottle caps and wrappers, but you know that even rogue litterers can’t prevent the Living Wall from filtering toxins from the air, recirculating its water, and certainly not from providing “a natural and soothing soundtrack” to the denizens dwelling in the basement.

Your tripping friend strokes the leafy wall and another friend tries to drink from the basin. After all, the architects worked with Mundo Verde Ortega and your friends argue that a green world requires the participation of all organisms.

Alas, it’s three in the morning and you have spent 15 minutes staring at the twenty-foot tall wall. You thank AARRIS Architects and Columbia Housing and Facilities for their redesign (because the performance area and kitchen are pretty swell too), which is “supportive of community interaction and student life.” While most of your friends head back up to their rooms, you couldn’t make it that far.

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8 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Was this the same person who wrote the article about the drunken walk from EC to the heights during NSOP? She’s pretty good.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous yeah, she is.

  • carman hall says:

    @carman hall it doesnt get better

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous It is beautiful.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous That’s gonna be filled with piss by December

    1. No says:

      @No It’s already been there since August, and it’s been fine. What could possibly be different within the next three weeks that would motivate someone to use this as a bathroom if they haven’t already?

      1. obviously says:

        @obviously you haven’t experienced finals yet

  • because you had to ask says:

    @because you had to ask a bwog post

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