Columbia Hack: How To Make A New Key
Written by Bwog Staff
Answer us this: who really wants to pay $40 for a new Ving card? Particularly when they get lost around once a week. Bwog’s more crafty staff members, Alexandra Avvocato and Claire Friedman, have a bit of experience in counterfeiting room keys: perhaps less glamorous than making fake IDs, but also probably less illegal.
To start, get yourself a completely flat card that you won’t mind destroying: make sure the card is roughly the same thickness as the Ving card or it won’t work. We suggest empty Starbucks giftcards – they seem to work the best. Take your Ving card and lay it on top of your new card. You need to cut your card so that it’s the same length as your ving card. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t curve at the top; it’s always worked for us with a right angle at the top. Once your card is the length of the Ving card, it’s time to get a little crafty.
Place the ving card on top of your card and tape the two together. Take a sharpie and draw small dots inside each hole of the ving card. Untape your cards and voila! You should have the same dot pattern of your ving card now traced onto your own card. From here, there are two ways to continue:
1. If you have a hole-punch
Take your hole punch and punch where you drew sharpie marks. Attempt to get the dots roughly in the middle of your punch marks. Punch.
If the card you’re using is too thick or the hole punch you’re using is too cheap, you won’t be able to punch through the card. You have two alternatives:
You will need a pair of scissors and a nail file. Close your scissors and place the top on one of the sharpie marks. Twist/rock back and forth until a small dent appears. This will take a little time depending on your prison skills/crafting abilities/arm strength, but eventually you will make a little hole. Stick the closed scissors in the hole and twist until the hole starts getting wider. The tricky thing in this scenario is making sure you don’t make the holes too big or too small – err on the side of too small because you can always widen the holes. Once you’re finished with the holes, take the nail file and file down the card until it lies flat, since it won’t work if the holes have edges.
2b. Also prison-style
You will need a thin metal tool such as a nail file or cuticle pusher and a lighter — or possibly a stove top. Make sure your random manicure accessory is small enough to make the card holes, and heat it up with the lighter/match/stove top; it’ll make it easier to create the holes. Mmmm, burning-plastic-smell. Repeat the steps as the 2a scissor method above, except taking care not to burn yourself. This method works especially well to release midterm-related stress through pyromania.
Moral of the story: you should probably find a hole-puncher before embarking on this adventure. But we can vouch for the fact that all three ways actually work. Although you will have to turn in a Ving key at the end of the year regardless, so the magic can only last so long.
Tags: accursed ving cards, and their awkward too long for a traditional wallet size, arts and crafts for college students, askbwog, being constructively destructive, columbia hack, prison style, subverting the system