Pregaming gone a little too hard

This year’s earlier Bacchanal timing has necessitated different preparation plans than usual among spring celebrants. New plans abound, from kegs & eggs to Absolute & Absolut. To inspire you for tonight/tomorrow, we share one pumped-up student’s particular plan of action, as told to Bwog below. Bwog is taking a page from Jackass and warning you: do not try this at home (especially if you’re underage).  And with that, we’re signing off for the day — till tomorrow, bright and early!

Friday afternoon:

4 p.m: Go to International. Prepare in advance: nighttime liquors, daytime liquors.

Friday evening/Saturday morning:

6 or 7 p.m: Go to sleep at around 6, or as early as you can manage. That means if you’re reading this right now, you should already be sleeping.

1 a.m: Wake up. Get dressed. Go to 1020.

3/4 a.m: Stay until last call. Get kicked out. Snag a few drinks for the road.

6:20 a.m: Watch sunrise while drinking on the roof of an unspecified building. Our drinking correspondent recommended a shot an hour in between 1020 and this phase, but Bwog may already have passed out.

Saturday:

9 a.m: Begin drunch (dreakfast?). When Bwog questioned about another catnap before drunch, our correspondent scoffed at us.

11 a.m: Bacchanal, or your regularly scheduled raging and tipping pictures/overheards/overseens to Bwog.

3 p.m: A final celebratory drink, then an intense group power nap.

9 p.m: Wake up. Get dressed. Go to 1020 out.

Got a better plan to sustain yourself and your compatriots?

Drunken freedom via Shutterstock