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CUMB Gets Made Fun Of, Doesn’t Like It

They preferred to heckle.

Back when CUMB didn’t even feel like playing instruments, which they sometimes do today.

Bwog received a tip that one Stephen Snowder—fearless Columbia student and Chief Editor of Columbia’s The Lion—had created a WordPress blog called CUMBsucks, mock-mocking the Columbia University Marching Band. This site was modeled after the original specsucks website (which of course now looks like this). He has since took it  down, but you can peek at it here.

Snowder mock-promoted his mock-website on The Lion, writing that

It’s a really good blog. I never thought [sic] about how much the marching band sucks before now, but now that I’ve read these indisputable facts, I cannot disagree with the statement that the marching band is terrible.

According to one source, “the band was so offended they called him and asked him to take it down (which he did).”

This seems a little hypocritical of the CUMB, which is uniformly loved/hated for its  inflammatory remarks and keen analytical eye regarding all things Columbia. It gets better—Peter Andrews, head manager of CUMB, was actually in on the joke from the start: it was a “private joke” between him and Snowder that, appropriately enough, started after ’Bo’s Freedom of Speech class. Regardless, other members of the band were uncomfortable with it. We find it a lil’ disappointing that CUMB couldn’t itself take a joke. Do they really feel so threatened by the likes of “Your days are numberd just like the NUMBERS in your secret saying”?

We reached out to Mr. Snowder for comment:

I started CUMBsucks as a joke after a bandie suggested that I was making too many specsucks jokes. The site was intended more to make fun of myself (look, I’m finally telling a different joke—oh, it’s actually the exact same joke but I replaced the word “spec” with the word “cumb”) than it was to make fun of the band.

I thought this was pretty obvious, but the band must have disagreed. In fairness, most of them have never met me and would have had no way of knowing that this was the joke. I got a call from the band’s head manager, who told me that the band was personally offended by my blog, and asked that I take it down. I immediately agreed, because it was never my intention to actually hurt anyone’s feelings. I am, and always have been, a fan of the band. I am also, and always have been, a fan of the spect. Luckily they’ve not yet asked me to stop making jokes about them. #saterdayisaday #specsucks

And we heard from Peter Andrews: 

The cumbsucks website was a private joke between myself and the site’s founder, Stephen Snowder. After our midterm in PrezBo’s class, I made a joke to him about overusing “specsucks” jokes, and he responded with this website; hence why the site’s tagline was “FACT: Peter Andrews does not know what is funny.” After a few posts on the site, I asked Stephen to take the site down because band members had started to ask me about it and I wanted to make sure it didn’t get out of hand, and he agreed without hesitation. So I don’t think there’s a story here, honestly.

Maybe not, but we’re still awaiting comment from Kev$ho.

CUMB of past via WikiCU

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  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous why can’t we all be chill with each other :[

    1. Plop says:

      @Plop This is AMERICA

      1. Plop? says:

        @Plop? Is america a piece of shit to you just plopping into a toilet? TERRORIST

        1. Plop says:

          @Plop America IS a piece of shit it is 80th in the world for corn maize production

          1. Oh Yeah?! says:

            @Oh Yeah?! Well in this America Home of the Free & Brave United States we’re number 1!!!!1 in

          2. Oh Yeah?! says:

            @Oh Yeah?! sorry, meant to post “NUMBER 11!!!” in shitty BLUE n’ WHITE stuff. Like 1/4 of our flag n’ this blogue.

          3. Oh Yeah?! says:

            @Oh Yeah?! …and cum.

          4. The American Flag says:

            @The American Flag is made from CUM (white), BRUISES (blue), and BLOOD (red)

            honor those who have dyed before us

          5. srsly says:

            @srsly do u think dead is funy? I bEt CUM do. Now your just stoping to there level place.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Finally, I thought I was alone in thinking that the marching band was terrible!! It’s even more embarrassing to watch the marching band at halftime during a football game than to hear the record of the football team! Why can’t we have a normal, kickass marching band like other schools… oh that is right we go to Columbia therefore we must be suuuuuuuuper original.

    1. lol says:

      @lol damn 10 band members down voted this so quickly

      but in all seriousness: I enjoy the people IN the band, because many of them (but not all) are lovely people. but even still, I am of the opinion that our band sucks.

      but, I also think cheese is fucking disgusting, and for some reason all the weird shitheads at Columbia defend cheese and lactose to the death. so, whatever.

    2. Lisa Turtle says:

      @Lisa Turtle If you want a real marching band go to Ohio state, all Ivy leagues (except Cornell which doesnt count, Andy Bernard) have scramble bands

      1. Michigan Fan says:

        @Michigan Fan Hail to the motherfucking victors and fuck Ohio State.

    3. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous ^ birth of The Cloaked Trumpet

  • this is worthless says:

    @this is worthless go do some real reporting, bwog. this is a non-story. i’m bored.

  • band member says:

    @band member This shit is hilarious.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous So two students had a private joke, it got slightly out of hand, and now they’re both totally cool with each other. So of course Bwog has to call them out and try to stir up shit. This is why we can’t have nice things.

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous Slow news day?

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Don’t tell us that we suck tell us why we suck!

      1. wiseau srs? says:

        @wiseau srs? what a story mark

    2. correction says:

      @correction **semester

  • CUMB member says:

    @CUMB member I thought the site was HILARIOUS and was sad when it was taken down… I don’t think band members actually were offended. It was just an inside joke between one member and Stephen. So like, what’s the story?

  • a band member says:

    @a band member For the record, I’m pretty sure most of the band just thought it was hilarious.

  • lol says:

    @lol i like it! some insider info on the band..

    also i feel like if the band members really enjoyed the site as much as they say they did, they would have egged the blogger on and proudly made it their own. too bad band or t(b)^3

    1. lol says:

      @lol * t(b)^2

      1. lolol says:

        @lolol (tb)^2

        1. lololol says:

          @lololol t(b)^2 was rite

          1. lolololol says:

            @lolololol *right

          2. lololololol says:

            @lololololol Lowell, Massachusetts

          3. lolololololol says:

            @lolololololol …apalooza

          4. lolololololol says:

            @lolololololol ..ipops

          5. lolololololololol says:

            @lolololololololol *lipops

  • lol at this writing says:

    @lol at this writing before the jump: OMG, band drama!!!!1!
    after the jump: wait, here’s the real story which is there is no story.

    1. Hello Columbia says:

      @Hello Columbia This is Perd Hapley, writing words, which are letters collected into syllables, for Bwog, which is a website with words.

  • band member t.c. says:

    @band member t.c. give this blog the boot
    get the bwog to bed
    go take bwog their balls
    good typing bwog, tres bien

    great time bitching there, bwog.

    1. Anonymous says:

      @Anonymous Gee That Bwog There BlewIt.

  • The Dark Hand says:

    @The Dark Hand yes CUMB sucks but so deos speck

  • band alum says:

    @band alum i swear to god this has to be the stupidest thing i’ve heard from the band or bwog.

    like i don’t even get what is going on, if anything.

  • Arsene Wenger says:

    @Arsene Wenger [campus media circlejerk intensifies]

  • lolololololololol says:


    1. lolololololololololol says:

      @lolololololololololol that was supposed to go up there ^

  • captain Blackbeard says:

    @captain Blackbeard CENSORSHIP never wins.

    Suck it cum band

    Cumbandsucks . WordPress .com

    1. captain Blackbeard says:

      @captain Blackbeard All abored the cum band sucks ship superior to censored ship

      1. FREE SPEECH says:

        @FREE SPEECH the worst kind of ship is a CENSORship

        1. don't be a dummy says:

          @don't be a dummy the worst kind of ship is a boat ship with a hole in it. duh

          1. Karen says:

            @Karen I’m a mouse… duh

  • Glen Coco says:

    @Glen Coco is that you?

    1. No, says:

      @No, it’s just me, Alan

  • How is this a story? says:

    @How is this a story? And why is this Bwog’s business?

  • PLZ says:


    1. IRT says:

      @IRT Perd Hapley

      thanks captcha

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