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In Defense Of: “That” Monday

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This has been a subjectively annoying Monday of classes. Alison Herman weighs in.

Okay, we get it: school starts on a Tuesday, so we have to end on a Monday. But just because Labor Day has our finals week wonked out for the rest of forever doesn’t mean there’s no silver lining to the hanging chad of academic schedules.

Granted, the reason why That Monday is probably for our own good is also the reason why everyone hates it. By now, Midsemester Burnout has given way to Please God Let It End Already, the tidal wave of apathy that makes finals season a thousand times worse by making motivation near impossible. Didn’t think it was possible to be even more apathetic? Just consider what a full week to procrastinate on all that reading that’s been gathering dust since the midterm(s) would do to our collective work ethic.

That Monday is a tiny reminder to keep our asses in gear for just a bit longer before we become one with our couches for the next month. It may mean our reading “week” is actually a frenzied three days of Lit Hum study guides and seminar papers, but does anyone really believe they’d put a full week to good use–at least where getting work done’s concerned? As many an all-nighter’s taught us, the tighter the deadline, the harder we work.

Alternately, That Monday also helps to cushion the blow of finals season for those of us still in denial that crunch time has begun on our fair campus. It’s not really the end times until classes have wrapped up, so we might as well enjoy the last real weekend of the semester before everyone retreats into their caves dorm rooms to subsist on Doritos and coffee for weeks on end. Never mind that on the other side of That Monday lies three papers and a problem set a day; it’s just another Saturday night, aka just another 1020 run.

Either way you look at it, there’s pretty much no way a weeklong period that determines 50% of our GPA is gonna be a fun time. Whether we have three days to brace ourselves or seven, finals will always turn into an addled blur of cramming sessions and information we’ll never retain. Bitching about That Monday is fine if that’s the coping mechanism you happen to need right now, but it has its advantages. Besides, let’s not forget the real enemies: harsh grading TAs, that girl in the Diana reading room eating a tuna sandwich, and above all, Butler campers.

Finals Countdown Clock via Wikimedia Commons

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4 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous I like this. It is well done like a nice piece of steak.

    1. Medium Rare says:

      @Medium Rare Cannot tell if trolling or if legitimately thinks well done is the way to cook a steak

  • hmm says:

    @hmm this was really well written. more like these, please!

  • thank you says:

    @thank you for articulating that perfectly

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