Mar

12

Midterm Haikus

Written by

just wanna nap

pretty much, yeah

It’s a dark time. We at Bwog feel you. We’ve finally succumbed to the angst, and we’re publishing poetry. They’re best read while blasting the Smiths and cowering quietly in your bed.

Creative Writing Revisions, part 1

Too many critiques

I don’t want to read one more

Can’t you just praise me

 

Creative Writing Revisions, part 2

How did er’one know

That I have no idea

What the thesis is

 

Creative Writing Revisions, part 3

What is a thesis

I just want to tell stories

With no point, okay?

 

Procrastination

“Start early,” my prof said

I was lazy so I didn’t

Irresponsible

 

Anna Karenina

Eight hundred thirteen

Pages. She died at the end.

Then I left Butler.

 

On Food

Since JJ’s place has rats

I guess I’ll eat at But Caf

Or I will just cry

 

More On Food

Red Bull is my life

Coffee is a close second

What is a koi fish

 

Reasons Not to Study in Your Bed

Why didn’t I do

This shit before, I think I

Need to take a nap

 

An Exercise in Enjambment

It is 5, exam

Day. I have done two of the

Readings. I am fucked

 

An Autocorrect Haiku

Oh my duck what is

Happening, who is turnip

Ducking hell (I) give on

 

“Be Glad You Have A Paper And Not An Exam”

Sixteen tabs open

Twenty of two thousand words

Give up already

 

Passive Aggressive Ode To Engineers

How to learn Virgil

My roommate is high right now

Do you not have class

 

Complaints About People Who Are Hotter Than Me

Why are you wearing

A skintight dress in Butler

At two in the morn

 

Seven Wonders Of The World

Fuck the pyramids

You haven’t lived till you’ve seen

A Butler sunrise

 

Bwog Likes Food

A Doritos bag

Once alive with cool ranch bliss

Refilled with my tears

 

Consolation chip

Your salty tang brings brief joy

I should eat one more

 

Who Needs Books And Knowledge

Book won’t read itself

But Chopped won’t watch itself, either

Fuck. Class in two hours.

 

Fucking Fuckers

There are people who

Are actually happy

Right now. Those fucking fuckers.

 

Thoughts On Papers

Fifteen pages due

In two days. I should have gone

to Harvard. Lazy fucks.

 

On Possibilities

What if I had read

The CC readings this term

Wow life would be good

 

On Lincoln

Emancipation

Oh God I am so tired

Proclamation

*The fact that “proclamation” has only 4 syllables illustrates how done we are*

 

Oh

Looked at my schedule

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

 

Bwog Wants A Tutor

I do not speak this

Goddamn language WTF

Am I studying

 

And last, but not least, a very inspired ballad:

Studying for this midterm

Feels like digging an endless hole.

The demand for money balances

Is deflation in my soul.

 

I demand an end to this;

Solow makes me feel so low.

My interest rate falls

With every problem they throw.

 

But as my happiness depreciates

I push on through my endeavor;

After this, I rationally expect,

It’ll be spriiiiing breeeeaaak foreeeeever

Sad man with sad little man via Shutterstock

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6 Comments

  1. Whoever wrote this

    I like you

  2. ben

    B+ or A-
    Why is A+ elusive
    Let's not go lower

  3. Anonymous  

    Sat down to take test
    I did not study at all
    I'm totally boned

    Liberal arts guy
    Taking science class, now says,
    "Fuckin' science req"
    (^STEM majors please modify as necessary)

    Just left my last test
    I don't know how well I did
    Eh, now's drinking time

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