Apr

3

Make A Deantini For Deantini

Written by

win this beauty and our hearts

win this beauty and our hearts

It’s Wednesday night, and you’ve just seen your more social floormates/ every single person in your 10:10 seminar tomorrow/ your freshman RA head to Senior Night. However, despite it being Wednesday night, Bwog still has midterms (WTF) and, swamped, was frankly all set to let you fall asleep comfortably in your bed in Butler 209 with Anna Pre-frosh’s profile fresh in your mind’s eye, but alas, who should swoop in and save the day but Deantini himself?

“Dear Bwog,” an email sent at 12:29 am (subject heading hEYYYYYY) said, “U R cleerly th best campus pyblucastion. Evry tim u guy update a bb elefants born ya digggggg???1!? speaking o diggin Im sooo hungry rn do u hav nething to eatt il except s9ur ptch kid or pancakes r wafles omg waffffless

anywa I ws thunkong i thinkk a big wsy 2 make admin moar access is thru teh bstt fooorm f bondinhfg aka drinkkk bonding!!!!!! Rite??

Soooo how bout ths:: u guyz organizse coqtale contest 4 STUDents . whoevr mks beeest ‘deantini’ wins prisee o f unmistajnlnabl value @ it discreshun.

OK gn <3 <# <###33#

Ur dn”

We’re not 100% sure what to make of it (can someone please translate “unmistajnlnabl”) but we’re never one to turn down a personal request from Deantini himself. So, send in your best recipes (no mocktails accepted, this isn’t your bar mitzvah), and the winner will receive a beautiful, elegant Bwog shotglass, enscribed with the forever applicable motto, “fuck you.”

Do it for Deantini.

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6 Comments

  1. Anon

    For anyone who is drunk-text illiterate:

    Dear Bwog,

    You are clearly the best campus publication. Every time you guys update, a baby elephant's born, you dig? Speaking of digging, I'm so hungry right now! Do you have anything to eat? I'll accept sour patch kids or pancakes or waffles. OMG waffles!

    Anyway, I was thinking - I think a big way to make administration more accessible is through the best form of bonding, AKA drink bonding! Right?!

    So, how about this: you guys organize a cocktail contest for students. Whoever makes the best "Deantini" wins a prize of unimaginable value at your discretion.

    Okay, goodnight! <3 <3 <333333

    Your DN (dick nose?)

    • BAC -1

      Dear BWOG,

      I consider you to be the most renowned campus publication, and greatly enjoy all of your updates. Therefore, in an effort to engender a feeling of administration accessibility, I would ask that you you organize a cocktail creation contest for students. The student to author the best recipe for a "Deantini," after the namesake you bestowed upon me, should be awarded a valuable prize at your discretion.

      Your dean of Columbia College,

      James J. Valentini
      April 4, 2014

  2. Sad Alum

    this shot glass trumps the bwog ping pong balls
    i want it

  3. I want that badass shotglass  

    The Deantini:
    -De Kuyper Blue Curaçao for that Columbia Blue hue
    -(The very Appalachian) Cardinal American Dry Gin
    -Peach schnapps
    -Shaken, not stirred
    -Because chemistry: serve over a small cube of food grade solid CO2

  4. Anonymous  

    that is the worst attempt at a fake drunk e-mail I've seen since the Clinton administration

  5. Anonymous

    “unmistajnlnabl” = unmistakeable

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