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Raph, living the life
Up next for a Senior Wisdom, we have another of Bwog’s own: Raphaëlle Debenedetti, mastermind behind one-thousand-and-twenty.
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Raph(aëlle) Deben(edetti), Columbia College, Philosophy & Political Theory. Go to answer since Fall 2010: “I’m a French-American from London.”
Claim to fame: (Failed to have) Made One Thousand and Twenty (1,020) a thing. If the 1(,0)20th Varsity Show has a line about it, that counts as a thing, right?
Where are you going? Right now, to Hamdel to get coconut water and ask Saoul for a Lewinsky. Later, to relocate in another Columbia (DC) and work in anti-corruption law. Much later, wherever my feet take me.
What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2018?
It’s hard not to be cheesy for this one (that’s what she said…when she answered the “oral sex or cheese” question!)
1) Life is like a game of Chess.
You win some, you lose some. And if you aren’t loosing, you need a new opponent. Learn from your defeats as much as from your victories. With time you will know how to make each move count. Speaking of which, go talk to Ademar and Moise, the two incredible human beings who play chess in front of Orens. I promise you, it’s worth it.
2) Change is good.
And not just because some venues are cash only. Things aren’t always going to turn out the way you planned them: but that’s okay. More than okay, it’s wonderful. And if embracing these changes is more difficult than you expected, don’t hesitate to reach out: there’s no shame in calling on a friend or CPS when you need it.
3) Smile your smile (Morningsiders)
Pessimism and cynicism are for the weak. It takes a lot more to lead with a smile and enthusiasm than to mumble something snarky in the (dark) corner of the room. Say hi to everyone you know. Take the few extra minutes to help the student whose moving bin is stuck on the sidewalk. Use exclamation points! Nobody’s too busy to be nice, it’s just a question of motivation. Learn and teach others how to play.
“Back in my day…” People used to trip over Lerner’s turnstiles more often. I thought seniors looked really old. Also, It was 1020…now it should be is 1,020.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I have great taste in friends.
Write your most memorable note from the field: The one where there was a snow storm my first year and I skied down low steps.
Would you rather give up oral cheese or sex? Let’s agree to diss-a-brie.
One thing to do before graduating: Get to know the people who help run Columbia. Whether it’s Pericles at EC’s security desk (live there your senior year), Professor Achille Varzi from Metaphysics (take this class), or Elisabeth Tschurtschenthaler from Hartley hospitality desk (a.k.a. mom), mix it up a little bit.
Any regrets? Not telling you that I love you when I had the chance…
JK. I wanted to be dramatic, but non rien de rien, non je ne regrette rien (Edith Piath’s words, not mine).
Well in all honesty, don’t we all have regrets? I probably do, but I don’t mind them because ultimately, I’m happier than I could ever imagine!!!!
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25 Comments
@Anon Way to steal that cheese meme that’s been circulating the internet since before you were 18.
Sweet dreams are made of cheese. Who am I to dis-a-Brie?
@Whatever... it’s still a great answer. And if it is from the meme, it’s a good use of it. I would have loved to meet you Raph, you have some funny and useful wisdom.
@cc'13 Raph is the coolest and such a great friend!
@R cc'13 Raph is the coolest and such a great friend!
@CC 14 Raph is, without a doubt, one of the most impressive people I’ve met at Columbia. Yes, she can be intimidating (mostly because of her aforementioned impressiveness), but once you get to know her, she is awesome and funny and all that good stuff. Looking forward to seeing what she accomplishes…
@Elisabeth i love raph!
@~priorities~ bwog will take down comments saying their staff isn’t that great but won’t take down a comment like “None of my professors are on there I guess i can expect them all to rape me with their finals”
@Anonymous yeah, because the professor comment was pretty funny
@CC '13 this girl is bomb
@fencerBlk Ha, I remember her from fencing years ago. I knew I’d end up facing her in the “championship” bout for that class. She’s super cool and awesomely bold.
@CC '13 I had a (lecture) class with you once and you only had smart and interesting things to say there. Wish I’d gotten to know you better, and good luck in the real world.
@Check your non-international student privilege Benevolent advice: different cultures = different standards.
From the American perspective, I can totally see why you would describe Raph as ‘crass’, ‘self-important’ or ‘conceited’ (though not ‘ditzy snob’ – I never felt like she saw me as an inferior) but this is largely due to the fact that, in many European cultures (not the least in France), being blunt and straightforwardly honest, even to the point that you sacrifice false modesty, are universally perceived as positive qualities.
Appearances are not mirrors of internal qualities, and Raph’s unapproachable or condescending air must be gauged against one’s actual interaction with her, which was in my experience always wonderful. Personally, I would be willing to vouch for this girl’s sincerity, warmth and inclusivity. While I am not insisting that everyone else would eventually also see her this way, I do wanna stress that there’s way more under the crass surface.
She always valued directness and honesty; in fact she might even appreciate the negative comments you guys wrote. So no harm done, hopefully!
@Check your non-international student privilege oh and btw, the “check your privilege” thing was in jest, not aggressive.
@Anonymous You are amazing and intimidating and everything I want to be by the time I’m a senior. <3
@I met Raph like a week ago and she treats me like an old friend. She’s awesome.
@Svokos Raph, you have consistently been the most caring, attentive, open, and supportive person I know here (and probably outside of here, too). Thank you for all of that these past few years and for having one of the brightest, most optimistic personalities to keep me lifted. Bisous, xoxo
@Anonymous Raph is an excellent person and she’s much more approachable than you might think. So throw away that french-snob prejudice and ask her on a coffee date (or even better — a 1,020 date). She might actually Blow Your Mind (and not the dumb Upworthy way).
@BB Glad to have met you, Raph!
@CC '14 Glad these comments show a certain ambivalence about Raph, so it’s not just me. Perhaps she’s just one of those people who is really nice to their friends and sort of closed and conceited around the people she doesn’t consider friends.
@anon This is exactly correct. She is also one of those people that will meet you, size you up, and decide how close you’ll be in exactly five minutes or less. Not my cup of tea.
@Anonymous RAPH IS THE BEES KNEES. smart, caring, and open. A well deserved wisdom.
@CC 15 Raph is an amazing friend and not to mention cute af
@I never liked this girl She has a very crass attitude
@Nah Raph is intimidating and hard-headed, yes, but that lasts 15 minutes into talking to her. After that, you realize that what all that amounts to is her outstanding passion for life. One of the most dedicated, motivated, and opinionated people at this school, she’s also one of the most tender. Sometimes her tendency of being larger than life can make her louder than life, but overall she’s a catch and half.