Our next Senior Wisdom is from Roko Rumora, once described as “Roko Rumora, art historian and noted homosexual” by the leading daily newspaper of Croatia.
Name, Hometown, School, Major: Good evening, America. I’m Roko, and though I may look like I’m GS’14 – GS 1914 even – I’m a regular CC’14-er. I study Art History and I love it to death. My hometown is all of Croatia – I pervade it thoroughly.
Claim to fame: That Guy On Facebook; then That Guy In Class.
Where are you going? Back to being That Guy On Facebook.
What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2018?
1. Don’t make friends by talking about people, Columbia, or people at Columbia.
It’ll work well freshman year, but the problem with only ever talking about finals, Orgo night, or that annoying kid on your floor is that it can become the only mode of acceptable communication between you and your new friends. Instead, when someone tries to make small-talk, speak about the things you’re thinking about when you’re alone. So if you have a niche interest you enjoy, tell people about it. In a 30 second elevator ride, you might not get a random LitHum acquaintance to become super interested in Chinese dragon dance, but this gives you a personality, it prevents people from seeing you as ‘random.’
2. It is always better to brag than to humble-brag.
During the next four years you’ll struggle with your work at times, sure, but there will definitely be moments of genuine satisfaction with your academics. And yes, no one wants to hear you say ‘I’m super happy that I got an A on this paper,’ but the point is to tell people not only that you did well, but also why you’re happy you did well. An explicit ‘because I worked on it night and day for a week and I was super worried’ prevents them from assuming an implicit ‘because I think I am inherently better than you.’ It’s much better to alienate people because of who you are than to alienate them because of who they think you might be.
3. Stop getting offended.
Inspect deeply the things that get you upset, whether it’s an unanswered text or homophobic comments in class, and force yourself to think of alternative causes. If you cannot really prove that the offending party did it on purpose to upset you, if you can think of even ONE alternative reason, go to them and ask about it, even if you’re still feeling wronged. If you manage to make yourself calmly ask ‘hey, you didn’t respond, so I’m assuming you are swamped with schoolwork?’ or ‘hey, from what you said in class, I assume you haven’t had much contact with gay people…’ you provide a channel for communication which makes your offender stop seeming like a heinous villain and more like an imperfect, fallible human being. This would be much more difficult if you confront them with ‘you’re a bad friend’ or ‘you’re a homophobic prick’ and almost impossible if you don’t confront them at all.
4. Learn Excel. Just do it.
“Back in my day…” There was this thing called CollegeACB, which was like a slutty Courseworks, and it once sparked a lively discussion about the size of my penis.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I was once described as “Roko Rumora, art historian and noted homosexual” by the leading daily newspaper of Croatia.
Write your most memorable note from the field: This one time, I saw a terrified squirrel run headfirst into the wall of Butler, effectively knocking itself unconscious. An appropriate metaphor if I’ve ever seen one.
Would you rather give up oral cheese or sex? I used to spend my nights working on my night cheese. I spend my nights differently now.
One thing to do before graduating: Devote a significant amount of time to being uncomfortable. Nothing helps you know who you are like realizing who you aren’t. By learning how to handle discomfort in short-term, limited-scope situations (e.g. studying abroad), you might develop a mechanism to deal with unannounced discomfort as well (e.g. the senseless and volatile contempt of Bwog commenters). You might even learn to use it to your advantage.
Any regrets? It hurts me to say it, but I might regret devoting all of my studies to a “useless” major just because I loved it. I knew that there wouldn’t be many jobs, but I thought that just meant I had to work harder and become the best qualified candidate. It is a bit devastating to start applying for jobs your senior year and then slowly realize that your whole field simply does not sponsor work visas, so that it doesn’t really matter how well you did. So yes, I would have gone into consulting for a couple of years, if that meant that I got to stay in America with you guys.
27 Comments
@Anonymous he looks so much like Bart Simpson’s friend Milhouse–those blue-striped eyebrows, that nose…
@cc'13 what a great dude, and thanks for an honest and meaningful senior wisdom.
also, FOUR things you learned at Columbia, you go glen roko!
@madame kimchi roko was my first facebook friend, i was also “that girl on facebook”
@anon Roko is one of the kindest and smartest people I’ve met at Columbia. So proud of all you’ve accomplished and watching your teach and help others.
@anon *you. embarrassing.
@CC'14 I’ve always really enjoyed talking art history with you!
@Hey Hey RR, I haven’t met you, but you’re real attractive- want to get green card married?
@RR I talked to your dad,
go pick out a white dress.
@CC'14 I tried really hard to become your friend, Roko. I have been failing miserably for 4 years. You were cool before we got to campus, and this is one of the best senior wisdoms I have read. Tell it as it is, life is hard for the international student who wants to follow his/her passion. Be strong, and if need be, get married. Easiest way to get a green card. All the best for the rest of your life, Roko
@Curious So how big is it?
@RR “thick but not long.”
@Curious So is their quote accurate? Or is there a way for me to find out for myself?
@Anonymous How “not long”? Top, bottom, or vers?
@Aquafina GIRL.
@Dasani GIRL.
@Arrowhead GUUUUUUUURL.
@Anonymous Can confirm. I SEENT IT
@CC '14 I usually don’t comment on senior wisdoms, but this may have been one of the most thoughtful and down-to-earth ones that I’ve ever read on Bwog. Can we have more senior wisdoms like this in the future?
Although I’m in the graduating class and know of Roko, I’ve never met him in person. What he wrote here certainly makes me wish I had the chance to know him.
@RR You made my day with this comment! Also, I would be more than happy to receive a friend request from you. Graduation is coming and our worlds might be collapsing into uncertainties and nothingness, but there’s, like, ALWAYS time for brunch.
@cc'14 HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW ROKO??
@Real GS'14 It’s LION dance!
@RR Damnit, I walked right into that one. My bad, really.
See, if I had talked to YOU in an elevator…
@Real GS'14 It’s cool. I thought it was a dragon too, but when that girl Hannah wrote an article about dropping out in the Spectator, she called it the dragon dance and a bunch of commenters got pissed off at her. That’s really all I know about the lion dance.
@SEAS '16 Well, both exist in China; but the one at Columbia is Lion dance. Dragon dance requires a lot more players and is much more complex…
@Anonymous What a douche.
@CC '14 I’d disagree. I’d much rather take the candor in this particular senior wisdom over all the other pseudo-intellectual crap that all too often permeates these pieces.
@Alison H ROKO IS GREAT.