Our next Senior Wisdom is from Roko Rumora, once described as “Roko Rumora, art historian and noted homosexual” by the leading daily newspaper of Croatia.

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Roko Rumora

Name, Hometown, School, Major: Good evening, America. I’m Roko, and though I may look like I’m GS’14 – GS 1914 even – I’m a regular CC’14-er. I study Art History and I love it to death. My hometown is all of Croatia – I pervade it thoroughly.

Claim to fame: That Guy On Facebook; then That Guy In Class.

Where are you going? Back to being That Guy On Facebook.

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2018?

1. Don’t make friends by talking about people, Columbia, or people at Columbia.

It’ll work well freshman year, but the problem with only ever talking about finals, Orgo night, or that annoying kid on your floor is that it can become the only mode of acceptable communication between you and your new friends. Instead, when someone tries to make small-talk, speak about the things you’re thinking about when you’re alone. So if you have a niche interest you enjoy, tell people about it. In a 30 second elevator ride, you might not get a random LitHum acquaintance to become super interested in Chinese dragon dance, but this gives you a personality, it prevents people from seeing you as ‘random.’

2. It is always better to brag than to humble-brag.

During the next four years you’ll struggle with your work at times, sure, but there will definitely be moments of genuine satisfaction with your academics. And yes, no one wants to hear you say ‘I’m super happy that I got an A on this paper,’ but the point is to tell people not only that you did well, but also why you’re happy you did well. An explicit ‘because I worked on it night and day for a week and I was super worried’ prevents them from assuming an implicit ‘because I think I am inherently better than you.’ It’s much better to alienate people because of who you are than to alienate them because of who they think you might be.

3. Stop getting offended.

Inspect deeply the things that get you upset, whether it’s an unanswered text or homophobic comments in class, and force yourself to think of alternative causes. If you cannot really prove that the offending party did it on purpose to upset you, if you can think of even ONE alternative reason, go to them and ask about it, even if you’re still feeling wronged. If you manage to make yourself calmly ask ‘hey, you didn’t respond, so I’m assuming you are swamped with schoolwork?’ or ‘hey, from what you said in class, I assume you haven’t had much contact with gay people…’ you provide a channel for communication which makes your offender stop seeming like a heinous villain and more like an imperfect, fallible human being. This would be much more difficult if you confront them with ‘you’re a bad friend’ or ‘you’re a homophobic prick’ and almost impossible if you don’t confront them at all.

4. Learn Excel. Just do it.

“Back in my day…” There was this thing called CollegeACB, which was like a slutty Courseworks, and it once sparked a lively discussion about the size of my penis.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I was once described as “Roko Rumora, art historian and noted homosexual” by the leading daily newspaper of Croatia.

Write your most memorable note from the field: This one time, I saw a terrified squirrel run headfirst into the wall of Butler, effectively knocking itself unconscious. An appropriate metaphor if I’ve ever seen one.

Would you rather give up oral cheese or sex? I used to spend my nights working on my night cheese. I spend my nights differently now.

One thing to do before graduating: Devote a significant amount of time to being uncomfortable. Nothing helps you know who you are like realizing who you aren’t. By learning how to handle discomfort in short-term, limited-scope situations (e.g. studying abroad), you might develop a mechanism to deal with unannounced discomfort as well (e.g. the senseless and volatile contempt of Bwog commenters). You might even learn to use it to your advantage.

Any regrets? It hurts me to say it, but I might regret devoting all of my studies to a “useless” major just because I loved it. I knew that there wouldn’t be many jobs, but I thought that just meant I had to work harder and become the best qualified candidate. It is a bit devastating to start applying for jobs your senior year and then slowly realize that your whole field simply does not sponsor work visas, so that it doesn’t really matter how well you did. So yes, I would have gone into consulting for a couple of years, if that meant that I got to stay in America with you guys.