Does she really seem like the most reliable source?

What do you do when your significant other drunkenly breaks up with you? You ask Bwog!

The Question:

Dear Bwog,
I remember you guys used to do a bunch of these… so here it is: last night, my girlfriend told me she needed a break. She was really drunk and she said it in passing, but I (less drunk) took it really seriously. Then this morning I woke up to a text from her that said “breakfast??” It seems like she might not remember dumping me… Basically, Bwog, my question is: do I still have a girlfriend?
Sincerely,
Sits Behind You In CC

The Advice:

Dear Sits Behind You In CC,

Well, my friend, it does sound like you have yourself in quite the predicament. While there is the age-old expression, “Drunk words are sober thoughts,” that’s a whole lot of bullshit.

There are a few possible scenarios here. First, your girlfriend was super drunk, didn’t realize what she was saying, and, judging by her friendly invitation to breakfast, didn’t mean that she wanted to take a break. Have you never seen the “shit white girls say” videos? “OMG I CAN’T….can we just like take a break for a hot sec….like stop….please no I really like need a break right now….just pause for me….” The list goes on but it’s starting to get mean and maybe resemble the way I speak. Perhaps don’t take this as seriously as you are.

The second scenario is that you were drunk and misheard her. I wasn’t there so I can’t judge your level of intoxication, but do you remember the game telephone? Sober people mishear things all the time, and any amount of alcohol just increases those odds.

The third (and scariest) of the three: your girlfriend said something, you heard it correctly, and it is eating away at you to the point where you can’t let it go (kinda seems like that’s what’s happening because you emailed Bwog). Just talk to her. Presumably that is something the two of you do considering you’re in a relationship. I would say to answer the question at the end of your email, yes you do still have a girlfriend, but you can never be truly happy in a relationship if you’re feeling insecure. If she didn’t mean anything, or you accidentally misheard, you can move on and continue without any doubts. If she did actually mean that she wants to take a break, we’re sorry, that really sucks, dude. But at the same time, do you really want to be in a relationship with someone who is only half in it?

We wish you the best of luck. Relationships can be extremely hard, but when you find the right person they are unbelievably rewarding. They’re worth the heartbreak and the risk. At least that’s what our mom said in seventh grade when our true love left us for another girl who wore shorter, tighter dresses to bar mitzvahs.

(Sober) Kisses,

Bwog

Girl to drunkenly break up with her lover via Shutterstock