Bwog recently faced the challenge of the minimalist pantry in Chopped: Poor Lazy College Edition, and now we’re back at it. We entered Tatini Mal-Sarkar’s kitchen for another grueling round of making something out of gruel nothing.

This week, we are proud to present Chopped: Bleak But Flavorful, where we turn the inexplicable remnants of your late night cravings into a real meal.

Today’s basket:

  • Brad’s Organic mild salsa
  • Sabra original hummus
  • Chicken-flavored ramen
  • Westside popcorn chicken

Creamy Herbed Pasta with Chicken:

  1. Prepare ramen according to package directions for about 3 minutes.
  2. Strain noodles, and return to pot. Do not add the sad flavor packet.
  3. Into the nearly empty hummus container, add approximate 1/4 cup salsa, and stir.
  4. Pour the hummus-salsa mixture into the ramen pot, and mix gently.
  5. Microwave three small, shapely pieces of the Westside chicken to warm.
  6. Dish the pasta in its sauce onto paper plate — or if you’re lucky and your roommate owns actual dishware, use that.
  7. Spoon tablespoon of salsa atop the pasta, and then the chicken onto this.
  8. Serve immediately, eating it while sitting on your Nussbaum suite’s kitchen floor.

Time including dish-washing: 10 minutes

While the hummus allows a delicious base for the sauce, its exclusion could allow different takes on the dish, including:

  • Spicier ramen, made with the red pepper sauce from the popcorn chicken, a sprinkle of the garlic powder found in the bowels of the kitchen cupboard, and a teaspoon of a roommate’s fancy natural peanut butter. This makes for a not-quite-Pad Thai.

Other options include:

  • For the ethically minded (read: vegetarians and vegans of the world), obviously don’t add the chicken. Or don’t add the Sabra hummus. (The Brad’s Organic is still good, though. No concerns with them yet.)
  • For the gluten-intolerant and sensitive, ditch both the ramen and chicken. Combine the hummus and salsa per the recipe, and add it to prepared rice, or just enjoy it with some corn chips. The possibilities are endless!