Another glass couldn’t hurt

Good news! A study by the CDC of 138,100 U.S. adults has found that 90 percent of Bwog staffers heavy drinkers are not actually alcoholics.

If that has you feeling at all good about the state of humanity, an outbreak of bubonic plague has struck Madagascar, killing forty and threatening to spread further.

But, hey, a survey by PRRI found that 70 percent of Americans claim to “experience a connection to all life” every day or most days. On the off-chance that that warms the cockles of your heart, the same survey found that 49 percent of Americans see recent natural disasters as evidence of “biblical end times”.

A police raid of Chinese General Xu Caihou’s house revealed twelve truck-loads of cash and precious gems, all stored in boxes carefully marked with the names of the sources of the bribes.

Improbably-named Portuguese ex-PM Socrates has been arrested and charged with tax fraud, corruption, and money laundering. Here’s hoping things go better than last time.

Responsible adults via Shutterstock