21 CommentsThis afternoon we received an email from a self-titled “rapidly crusting alum,” who has imparted some special words of counsel. With a full Spring semester ahead, we share this timely letter.
To: tips@bwog.com
From: Anonymous
Subject: Crusty alum adviceHi Bwog,
I am a rapidly-crusting alum writing you from the office. And at the start of this spring semester I have some advice I was hoping you’d run as an open letter. It’s brief. Here goes.
It is the spring of ’15, you have 0.5-3.5 years of college left. During those remaining years, strive to “hold fast to the spirit of youth.” By which I mean do two things as much as is possible and responsible for you: get laid as much as you can and read as much as you can.
The simple truth is that, though you are busy right now, you’ll be a lot busier when you’re working 40+ hours per week. Because in addition to working, you will also have to pester your super, pay rent and utilities, not to mention do a ton of other horrible errands that sap your life-force if you aren’t careful. It will be much harder for you to do a lot of valuable things, chief among them getting laid and reading.
What I mean is, at Columbia a lot of that stuff is taken care of, like rent and th [sic] super, and maybe food. And I remember wasting countless hours… on the Internet, mainly. Because there are lots of unaccounted-for hours that slip by when you are “studying.” But spending eight hours in Butler and complaining about it is really not good! Especially if you worked for four, wasted two on the internet, and moped around the other two.
So take those squishy hours, and use them to get laid and read.
When you’re working full-time, it’s very hard to meet people. And you will also find that people have their guard up—far more than they do at Columbia, and I know how it is there.
But the fact is, at Columbia, even though we don’t “have community,” there is a community in a way there is not in New York City, probably anywhere else. You’ve got a lot of mostly smart, mostly young people, most with some disposable income, and almost with more freedom than you’ll have for many years.
So people at Columbia have cleared a bar that, when you’re 25 and commuting home, the stylish stranger on the subway has not. Or even the person at the bar.
What I am saying is, ask that cute stranger in seminar out to coffee or a drink. You might have an awkward time. Go for a walk in Riverside Park. Try a museum. Go see a Shakespeare play. First dates ARE contrived. Get over that. Most first dates are awkward. That is because you are either going to end up kissing this person—and maybe doing a lot more—or end up never talking with them again.
But that risk is worth it: you might have a really nice time, and then more nice times, and develop a whole side of yourself that you weren’t aware of before you had that romance.
Even though a lot of people are lonely at Columbia, most aren’t cold yet. They want to meet someone too!
And a word to reading. I remember getting mixed up about it. Thinking that I didn’t have time for pleasure reading because ANY reading had to be work, or it was wasted time. So instead I’d kill time on Netflix. This is wrong. Try reading something light instead. A romance. A spy novel. Middlebrow stuff. Literature. Whatever. It’s good for your mind. Read whatever gets you going. Take advantage of the library, which can get you any book published in English in 5 business days, max, and almost always much sooner. Read those old, 19th century hardbacks that are rotting in the stacks. That’s what they’re there for!
None of this is meant to belittle college anxiety, at all. There is a lot of stress. I felt miserable for a lot of semesters, on account of social situations, mostly, but also class sometimes. I was lonely. But think of that tension as spiritual growing pains. College is partly a time to find your self, free from having to sit on hold with Time Warner for 90 minutes because they sent a collector after you for a modem you returned months ago.
TLDR, spend less time looking at screens. Believe me, you will probably spend most of the rest of your waking hours doing that. Spend time looking at other people and at yourself, instead.
Yours truly,
Crusting alum
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21 Comments
@hey Some of us just can’t get laid, so don’t lay it on!
@one more alum I can also vouch for the fact that post-grad life, although it has its unique set of stresses, for me has been a lot more pleasant than my Columbia days
So above all I would say, don’t stress! You’re stressed enough about getting good grades, making friends, having time for extracurriculars etc. Don’t add to that the pressure of “making the most” of your college experience.
I always feel sorry for people who say College was the high point of their life. It seems like a shame to peak at age 21…
Sure I wish I had spent more time going to cool talks and exploring new hobbies rather than obsessing about my GPA, but it is what it is. If you’re like me you’ll probably enjoy post-grad life more, where you don’t always feel like there’s some exam you should be studying for
@Hmm I understand you are feeling nostalgic right now–probably because you are working a bunch of hours at some entry level position–, but give it a couple of years and you may well come to realize that being an adult with a decent pay check and some free time isn’t a bad gig.
@yet another alum Great story. “Youth is wasted on the young.” Students at Columbia do not know how great they have it. With brilliant students and profesors and opportunities abound. Endless libraries and cultures and courses. You will never have this chance again. Enjoy it, use it. Get to know as many people as possible. Someone in your class is going to president, speaker, attorney general, supreme court justice, billionaire. You will realize at some point that college was the best years of your life.
@Do only alums Read Bwog?
@Please Some of us are already balancing 30+ hours per week along with a full course load and the work it entails, not to mention cooking and paying out own bills. I don’t know what kind of privileged existence you were living at Columbia, but it definitely wasn’t that of the working class.
@yet another alum Yes, but you still have all the opportunities and connections of Columbia open to you that you will not have in a few years. You also probably do not have a wife, kids, mortage, pay huge taxes, have chronic illnesses, sick relatives, have to wait for the repair man, the cable man, leaking faucet, broken down car, and thousands of other problems that “adults” have.
@Please All that heteronormativity seems to be your choice, my friend.
@another alum I work a 45 hour week and I have WAY MORE time and leisure (and dispensable income) than I ever did at Columbia. Also I’d rather chat with Time Warner for an hour one time than give up a week of sleep for an exam any time. The post-grad lifestyle has its perks too :)
@another alum don’t mean to diminish the message of the original author—you should totally take advantage of college/the freedom of youth while you have it!
But post-grad life is awesome. Just sayin’.
@yet another alum i vouch for this
@CC 16 I agree with the general sentiment of this, but I don’t think he/she should have selected getting laid and reading as THE two things that people should take advantage of while at Columbia. There are many, many things that college provides which won’t be there after we graduate. You could say take advantage of being able to talk face-to-face with some of the brightest academics in the world. Or take advantage of being able to form a close, stable friend group and create memories with them while we have some free time. Or take advantage of the endless student clubs and events here. All of these are things that we will lose access to once we graduate. I agree that we should take advantage of the things we won’t have later, but getting laid and reading may not be the two things that everyone wants to take advantage of, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
@Other CC 16 I actually appreciate the selectivity because it makes me feel like it represents something I can do.
@hmmm I don’t think there’s anything wrong with any of this advice. Of course if you want to read in the library all day there is also graduate school. Anyway, this sounds like the template for probably all or nearly all college experiences.
@Anonymous this is the most redeeming post bwog has put up in a while, wow, well done alum
@Those rotting books in Butler Don’t forget the dragon lore books in the old Gaelic section of the stacks!
@40 hours only 40+ hours a week? dude what’s your job
@Anonymous This is good. btw, “the super” is an actual term.
@irrelevant but I think the sic referred to the “th” preceding it.
@#blacklivesmatter I don’t fuck columbia chicks because they cry wolf
@this is brilliant