After an arduous week of deliberation and contest, Bwog has decided to endorse The Community Party for a Better Tomorrow in its run for Columbia College Student Council. This is not a resolution that came lightly, it must be noted, but was made after innumerable meetings with candidates for all councils and Senate, as well as phone calls and late, antagonizing nights.
TCPFABT consists of five Dan(i)s:
- Daniel Stone, President
- Daniel Garisto, VP Policy
- Danielle Crosswell, VP Communications
- Daniel Chi, VP Campus Life
- Daniel Bergerson, VP Finance
While we are especially motivated by their stance on institutionalized naptimes,* they present compelling green initiatives and thoughts on transparency, better use of the Lion Tamers, and significant student wellness considerations. Perhaps most immediately impactful is their goal to instate pizza vending machines, though long-term changes will too be achieved through more frequent study of students’ quality of life, taken via Quality of Life Pop Quizzes. Bwog has always kept students’ wellness close to its wretched heart.
We do urge TCPFABT to speak out on accessibility, though the party’s intention to cooperate between fellow councils via intermarriage demonstrates their potential here. After many off-the-record interviews with candidates for GSSC and ESC, parties and individuals with more concrete plans for the issue, we can rest knowing that the intermarriage solution should reap progress in terms of accessibility — whether that’s accessibility in actual physical use of buildings and campus or financial barriers, though TCPFABT’s stance on the student life fee, among other things, may be directly pointed toward the latter.
So this Tuesday, please vote TCPFABT for your Columbia College Student Council. We believe they will serve you well.
Sincerely,
Taylor Grasdalen, Editor in Chief
Courtney Couillard, Managing Editor
Britt Fossum, Internal Editor
From our live-tweet reportage of the CCSC debates, we leave you with the following sentiment from the party:
- Bergerson “takes his cues from admins.”
- Crosswell “wants to transparentize student government.”
- Chi “carries around candy in [his] pockets and throws it around.”
- Chi “wants tattoo(s) of Roaree.”
- Garisto has “no experience on CCSC. Been to 4 or 5 CCSC meetings. Goes to debates. Understands that being VP Policy is difficult.”
- Garisto, as stated while literally lying down, “worked at Spec Opinion, knows best opinion on campus, experience with opinions will allow him to do well.”
- Garisto, in his closing remarks, believes there will be “cooperation among the group because [they are all] named Dan.”
- Stone “wants to open the tunnels. Tunnels open through the campus, to solve a lot of issues of accessibility.”
- Stone “agrees with Peter [Bailinson, of It Takes Two CCSC party], would do exactly what Peter does. Peter’s weakness has been in free food department.”
*From the party’s official platform: “Mandatory siestas will be instated. Several rigorous studies compiled over the past 5 decades have shown that naps = very good. From 1PM-2PM Mon-Fri, Columbia campus shuts down. Gates are closed. Everyone drops what they are doing and takes a mandatory nap, except public safety. This counts as a mandatory class for all CC students (10 credits/semester). Being found awake will be detrimental to your grade.”
14 Comments
@anon Does the fact that crosswalk is in the left of the photo mean that croissant is left-wing in her political opinions?
@"late antagonizing nights" Bwog:(
@TAPFAP Also Dan Stone is a horrible human being.
@Dean Can confirm.
@TAPFAP Who in their right mind would ever vote for these dimwits?
@Anonymous VOTE FLF
@has my vote i think dan is cute
@Anonymous but which one though
@agreed He’s as cute as he is a dreadful tool, though.
@Anonymous What’s very sad is that there are two joke parties. They are going to split the joke party vote and the incumbent student leader bums will take it.
@Dan Garisto Maybe that’s unfortunate, maybe it’s not. Even the existence of two “joke parties” puts pressure on whoever will be in office to rethink the way things have been done.
But it’s also not as dire as I think some people are making it out to be on either side. Ben and Viv getting elected wouldn’t be the end of institutional organization as we know it, and Peter and Abby getting elected wouldn’t be the continuation of some awful insider hegemony.
It’s student government, and I think keeping that in perspective is what my main objective in running was.
Anyhow, the best way to see change effected through student gov. is to actually show up and work with them throughout the course of the year, and we’d do well to remember that when we’re dealing with whoever wins.
@Anonymous Bwog,
You had a chance here to actually make a difference in the election and instead you waste it on a joke. I couldn’t be more disappointed in this announcement, and wish you guys took yourselves more seriously. Freedom, Liberty and Freedom actually had serious ideas and as does It Takes Two. Regardless of which of the two would be better (I am voting for Freedom Liberty and Freedom), you guys should have taken who represents all of Columbia College more seriously. This election actually does impact us all, I am so sad to see Bwog waste any influence they may have had.
@stfu little baby WAAAAAH WAAAAH WAAAH big bad bwog not taking us seriously WAAAAAH
@anon read that like Harold from Hey Arnold! is saying it