Scissor Sisters are back at it with an informational guide (and maybe even how-to!!!) about the lump of hair on your head and what It Says About You.

Princess Leia Buns

You’re a quirky adventuress, and your spirit cannot be silenced. You’re probably double majoring in, like, Ethnic Studies and Biochem. Your favorite show is Twin Peaks. You wear an ungodly amount of beige. You want to be an astronaut.

A little off-kilter

Man Bun

You are hip. Also, a fuckboy. You dumped your last girlfriend because she didn’t think Yeezus was the best album since Y2K. You will not have a job when you graduate. You will probably engage in performance art at one point or another in your 20s. Consider transferring to Gallatin. Realistically you will sell all your principles by 30 and go into the consulting job your dad set you up with.

Yes, we did take this picture of Zayn Malik on Low Steps. You didn’t know he’s a GS student here now?

Gender Neutral Man Bun

All of the above, but female. You often say, “I’m not like other girls.” Probably you are.

Tryna find some shade on Low Beach

Top Knot

You have your life together. You are either a ballerina or an Poli Sci major. You have considered investing in a sock bun. Lauren Conrad is your idol. You wear a lot of pale pinks and nudes. Your lips feel empty without red lipstick. Your favorite room at Butler is the ref room because you can Insta it. See you at Mel’s this weekend!!

Insert Cartier Love bracelet

Babycore

You have never matched a day in your life. You think ugliness is art. You consider yourself a free spirit. You’re living in Ruggles next year. You don’t actually like children very much. You eat a lot of cow tales.

What the fuck is babycore