So fresh, so cool, so… bubbly?

In this edition of 2girls1snack, Olivia Setzer and Veronica Brusilovski, two first-years living on opposite sides of Broadway, venture into the jungle of cheap tapioca pearls and sub-par black milk tea. In the span of two blocks, they uncover the best, worst, and most mediocre bubble teas in MoHi.

Cafe East – Lerner Hall

Price: $3.49 for a medium

Located in Lerner Hall, this slightly depressing nook cafe has fast service and the closest tea, but a dismal layout and an unhappily lingering population of three. At least it’s near the ATM. Despite the convenience, the tea is watery and has lots of ice. Unlike the other places, it is homemade, not prepackaged. You will leave with an emptier wallet and an overwhelming sense of guilt as you realize that Ferris is right above you.

Rating: 3.5 stars

Thanks, but no thanks, Sandy.

Vine – 116th and Broadway

Price: $2.95

When they labeled the bubble tea as $2.50 with pearls included, we expected it to be $2.50. Instead, they robbed us of 45 cents and our precious time (seriously, it took ten minutes to get one pre-packaged tea). With a scarily-mediocre B health rating and a condescending look upon realizing we would not be buying food, Vine made us feel less than welcome. The atmosphere is nice, but the advertised juice bar is non-existent, and the slow, nasty service is the only thing more horrible than the watery tea, which was handed to us in a brown paper bag, much like a drug transaction in Riverside.

Rating: 1 star (because we pity them)

TeaMagic – 112th and Broadway

Price: $3.75

There’s a reason all the hipsters on campus make the pilgrimage to TeaMagic, and it’s not just because it’s closer to Brooklyn. Although it’s the most expensive of the three, TeaMagic’s tea was by far the best, and the service was the quickest and cleanest. The cafe has free WiFi and always seems to be packed, which, in the case of this tiny joint, can feel nice once you’re part of the club. If you’re willing to leave the Barnard/Columbia bubble and claim that you’ve exercised, then go to TeaMagic and show off your funky drink to the ba$ic bitches at Starbucks across the street.

Rating: 4.5 stars

As we found out, you really do have to venture off campus to get some good bubble tea. But trust us, it’s worth it when you get there.

Boba aka Bubble aka It’s Just Tea via Shutterstock