Finding good, private study spaces at Columbia is a challenge, but a challenge Bwog writers were willing to undertake.  Betsy Ladyzhets and Juliet Larsen report on nooks and crannies that might just be able to hold you, a backpack, and some textbooks for a few hours.

Tired of lugging your textbooks all the way to the Low Plaza? Sick of fighting for space at Butler? Pissed at your unable-to-shut-up roommate? Well, never fear, Columbia students: Bwog has just the solution for you. In a land of towering piles of homework and a time of ever-dwindling desk space, Bwog sent out two intrepid reporters on a quest to find quiet, unpopular study spots on campus. To all those unable to get work done with the concept of a hundred other undergrads breathing within a fifty-foot radius of your backpack: this is for you.

1. Rad Red Reading Range (third floor of Diana Center)

the raddest red shapes in MoHi

You may come to the Diana Center for the famous flatbread pizza, but you should stay for the reading area on the third floor. Modern and minimalist, this is an off-the-radar study room for those who “knew about it before it was cool.” Come here to work when you want to feel glamorous despite the Barnard sweats you’re wearing. Just remember that it is a “pull” door when you exit, or you might panic thinking that you are trapped in Jane Eyre’s Red Room, spend fifteen minutes pushing on the door, and wind up late to your next lecture. Not that we would know anything about this, of course.

2. Woefully Wonderful Windowsill (a window ledge below the Wallach Art Gallery banner)

what a fine windowsill

It’s true, there are many fine windowsills on Columbia’s campus, but Schermerhorn has the finest. These windowsills have everything: legroom, back rests, and enough height above the ground that looking down on your fellow students is easier than ever before. Plus, studying outside of an art gallery never fails to make a kid seem cultured.

3. High-Class Homeric Hymns (fourth floor of Barnard Hall)

these chairs are just begging you to sit in them

If you’ve ever taken an English class at Barnard, then you likely know the burn of pushing yourself up all four flights of elaborate, black stairs – but then, you also likely know the pleasure of sinking into one of the beautiful arm chairs at the top of the climb. The English professors up here clearly know how to live, and if you’re ready to participate in an impromptu discussion of the Homeric Hymn to Demeter, they’ll share that high standard of living with you.

4. Covert Classified Courtyard (courtyard by the International Affairs building)

sitting in mid-afternoon sunlight is the best way to study

You might have passed by this courtyard several times so far this semester, walking across Amsterdam or to get to the Law Library, but have you ever actually gone into it? Furthermore, have you ever seen anyone else go into it? No? Exactly. Columbia’s campus is full of half-hidden courtyards (this particular one is next to Casa Italiana), and the tinier a courtyard is, the less likely you are to interact with anyone else while studying there.

5. Marvelously Manicured Magnolia (Barnard’s magnolia)

if you don’t climb into this tree at least once during your four years on campus, what are you even doing

Do you ever get tired of the endless hustle and bustle of New York City? Do you find yourself pining for the peaceful experience of a rural campus? Do you wish you could run away and seclude yourself in the beauty of nature? Well then, hold on there, Smokey the Bear, we’ve got a solution for you! Believe it or not, Barnard’s campus actually has not one, but several trees.  Try this one, for example: the Magnolia tree on the Lehman Lawn. The sight of this Magnolia tree is so sacred to both Barnard students and faculty alike that it has inspired perfumes, t-shirts, and even an orientation group at NSOP this year! Try climbing into its cradling branches to do your CORE or First Year Seminar reading.

6. Magnificent Malleable Monster (the statue of Pan near Broadway)

Pan is watching you (but these nice student’s aren’t)

Columbia is home to some pretty weird statues, but the strangest of them can also be the greatest. Pan is staring at you, judging you, looking down into your very core and daring you to procrastinate on that paper for one more second. And besides, maybe, if you rub elbows with him, he’ll put in a good word for you with the god of passing exams.

7. Precariously Perfect Precipice (ledge between Pupin and Schapiro)

yes, Amsterdam Ave is right there

Do you ever see a random ledge while passing through campus and wonder, What if I climbed up there? You should try it, if you haven’t already. Ledges are hard enough to remind you of the futility of coming out of this college experience alive, yet simultaneously cool enough that anyone who sees you will automatically think you’re some kind of daredevil genius. It’s all about outward appearances here at Columbia. If you’re feeling especially hip, engage in some Hatha yoga as a study break while still, quite literally, living on the edge. Nobody will judge you, mostly because it will be hard for them to find you in the first place. This particular ledge is sandwiched between Pupin and Schapiro, facing the beautiful Teacher’s College Campus.

8. Murky Mermaid Mirages (inside the empty fountains at Low Plaza)

fountains amazingly still have uses even when the water isn’t turned on

It’s no secret that the fountains on Low Plaza are seldom running, but it might be a little secret that these fountains, when dry, make perfect studying spots. Sink down into the stone dish, rest your back against the side, and hide from the constant traffic circling around you. You can even pretend that the fountain is, in fact, running, and you’re a vindictive mermaid trapped there, enticing innocent freshmen to save you from your plight, then feasting on their flesh. What fun.

9. Lovely Low Ledge (ledge of Low Library)

campus security probably wouldn’t be cool with this

This one is for the exhibitionist: any way you position yourself on the right or left-hand ledges of the Low steps, you’re bound to look like a work of art, perfectly postured while reading your Virgil or Sophocles. Not only do you get a spectacular view of the glory that is “Low Beach,” but you are on display as well, glamorous and untouchable like a Greek statue at the Met. Go ahead, put yourself on a pedestal while you study.

10. Natural Habitat (Riverside Park)

take a look at this view

Sometimes, you just need to lie down on a bench, close your eyes, and photosynthesize for a little bit without several of your friends running up to you and asking if you’re okay. At those times, the best place to go is ever so slightly off-campus, but not too far. Riverside Park has the widest variety of benches any park can offer, not to mention an abundance of dogs and kids on scooters. Plus, look at that view! This is the only place you can be reminded both of the lost joys of childhood and the insignificance of your contributions to the universe.

11. Quaint Quiet Quality (St. Paul’s Chapel)

shhh, God is watching you

There’s really only one way to guarantee that your studying will go completely uninterrupted: go to St. Paul’s Chapel. Park yourself in one of the benches, unload your backpack, and throw up a quick peace sign to the Big Man Upstairs before you get to work. If anybody gives you strange looks, just say you’re studying for a Christianity class, and then politely remind them that talking in church is a sin.

12. Parkour-masters’ Palace (on top of Low Library)

just scale Low Library

You know what? Honestly? We give up. Anywhere you go on campus, there are still going to be people. No matter how secluded a spot you find, some security guard will always pass by you. The only solution? Scale Low Library. Just do it. Think of how high up you’ll be. How far from everyone you know. It will be perfect. (Say hi to the birds for us).

(Warning: now that Bwog has reported on these unpopular study spots, aforementioned study spots may see a sudden and dramatic rise in frequenters. Bwog takes no responsibility for any fights that may occur at any places mentioned in this article. Study at your own risk.)

All images via Bwog staff photographers.