Connect with us

All Articles

Languishing In Lerner Sans Stapler

Lerner is lacking

Lerner is lacking

It’s missing—that beautiful, bold industrial stapler usually stationed at the front desk of Lerner. You’ve used it to staple everything from your 50-sheet long Anthropology readings and your pirated eBook of Sappho’s poetry to your print-outs of Chem lecture notes (because you never go) and the collection of quotes you’ve collected from your Biology professor. You used it carelessly, without thought or concern.

Is your current predicament deserved then? For the past two weeks, the automatic stapler has been replaced by the kind you can get at the corner store: cheap, ineffective, paling in comparison to its predecessor. When you were forced to use it, you sighed as the staple sunk only halfway through the stack of paper before you. By now, you’ve resorted to binder clips, or worse yet, nothing at all. Your backpack is a study in chaos. It’s just not the same, and everyone can agree.

This isn’t some abstract problem—there is not only a victim, but a culprit. When we asked the people at the front desk, they told us someone had broken the stapler and it was getting replaced. First off, how do you even break an automatic stapler? Secondly, should it really take two weeks to replace it? We’re not condoning a manhunt, but this is kind of really inconvenient.

Click to show comments

Write a comment

Your email address will not be published.


1 Comment

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous What about the key replacement fee??

  • Ad

    Have Your Say

    What should Bwog's new tagline be?

    View Results

    Loading ... Loading ...

    Recent Comments

    WHY WOULD YOU PUT NUDES AS YOUR BACKROUND, you will get in trouble in like 0.02 seconds, this is (read more)
    How To Impress Your Class Crush On Zoom
    October 31, 2020
    You really expect me to put a nude as my bg in class??????????????? WHAT KIND OF- (read more)
    How To Impress Your Class Crush On Zoom
    October 30, 2020
    Oh goodness This happened to me today but worse becuse my friend scream out "ooouuu you farted!!!" ahh it (read more)
    How To Recover From Farting On Zoom: A Step-By-Step Guide
    October 30, 2020
    I need to know what kind of bread you have. Please. (read more)
    Dress Up As Alma (And Other Statues) For Halloween
    October 29, 2020

    Comment Policy

    The purpose of Bwog’s comment section is to facilitate honest and open discussion between members of the Columbia community. We encourage commenters to take advantage of—without abusing—the opportunity to engage in anonymous critical dialogue with other community members. A comment may be moderated if it contains:
    • A slur—defined as a pejorative derogatory phrase—based on ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or spiritual belief
    • Hate speech
    • Unauthorized use of a person’s identity
    • Personal information about an individual
    • Baseless personal attacks on specific individuals
    • Spam or self-promotion
    • Copyright infringement
    • Libel
    • COVID-19 misinformation