Chef Irvine and our writer: they could practically be family

Yesterday, Chef Robert Irvine made his annual trek to Morningside Heights to consult with the dining staff on CU’s culinary options. Emma Seely-Katz, a long-time starry-eyed admirer of the chef’s, got to both talk to him and take selfies with him in John Jay. The encounter has left her possibly even more enamored than before.

I spent the majority of my 11th year with my eyes glued to a television dialed to the Food Network. During those 12 months, I developed an affinity for profiteroles, caviar, and Manchego cheese (not the actual foods, just images of them I saw onscreen). But, more importantly, I also experienced my first celebrity infatuations: first with Giada De Laurentiis (her silky smooth voice almost made me forget that I didn’t eat meat), then Alton Brown (still my biggest celebrity crush to date), then Robert Irvine.

For those poor souls who have never watched an episode of Restaurant: Impossible, Irvine’s tour de force of a television show, I can give you a simple run-down. Viewers nominate restaurants they think are truly disgusting, out of date, or badly-run, and Chef Irvine comes to the rescue. Crew of designers, technicians, and specialists in tow, Irvine beats the restaurant’s staff into happy compliance, gives the manager a usually-much-needed attitude adjustment, and revamps the entire operation, from the first hors d’oeuvres to the sign outside the door. This inevitably leads to a “big reveal” of the facelifted restaurant, complete with happy customers, joyfully teary-eyed owners, and a content Irvine.

Once a year, Irvine visits CU, though not to break down any outdated plywood walls with a sledgehammer (unfortunately). He discusses the University’s dining options with the dining hall staff, shares a recipe with anyone lucky enough to have stumbled into John Jay or Ferris while he’s there, and, every so often, fields questions and heart-eyed stares from students who grew up watching him shake his head disappointingly at disconcerted restaurateurs.

This past Wednesday, Chef Irvine was, once again, the CU Dining staff’s incredible guest. I was the heart-eyed student. I approached him tentatively during my lunch break, irrationally scared that he had his sledgehammer at hand. I think I made a joke about wanting the Chef to ask Alton Brown to cheat on his wife with me – journalism at its finest! I did manage to ask one legitimate question, though: as a vegan student, I often get tired of trying to supplement my meal with protein from the same three sources every day at the dining halls: peanut butter, bean salad, and dubious-looking tofu dishes. What would Chef Irvine suggest I do to get my 70,000 dollars’ tuition worth of food?

He called over a few gracious members of the dining staff who explained to me that, if I put in a request, they will literally make anything happen for me (save, perhaps, a seven-course, five-star feast – but they can come pretty close). The staff will prepare anything I ask them to within reason, as they will for any student with a dietary restriction. They will even order items specially off Amazon for you and have them ready and waiting for your lunchtime enjoyment! I was pretty excited about all of this already, and that excitement only grew when I was treated to one of Chef Irvine’s patented “disappointed-dad-head-shakes” upon my telling him that I was vegan. It was like Thanksgiving dinner with my disapproving family all over again – but better!

Before I left, I mentioned to Chef Irvine that my little sister and I used to bond by watching him bark orders at cowering chefs during our after-school T.V. procrastination sessions. Without saying a word, he immediately grabbed my iPhone and proceeded to take a selfie video of the two of us with a shoutout to my sister. I now have some footage of the otherwise-competent Chef Irvine fumbling around with my iPhone for a few minutes in an attempt to get the right angles. The man does know his angles, and his muscles really ARE that big in real life. My sister is going to love her special Hannukah present.

Chef Irvine and his biggest fan via Bwog Staff