Yeah, you can get a burger at 1am - but is it worth it?

Yeah, you can get a burger at 1am – but is it worth it?

Inspired by Hillary Clinton’s recent statement that many Trump supporters belong in a “basket of deplorables,” Senior Staff Writer Sasha Mutchnik has compiled a list of Columbia’s own basket of deplorables. If you thought you were escaping horror by distancing yourself from your more “misguided” family members, you’re wrong.

  • JJ’s Place Humidity: If ever you find yourself missing New York summers in the coming months, just swipe into JJ’s, where you’ll be greeted with an equally sweltering, and even more fragrant (!), atmosphere.
  • John Jay Health Services Wait Times: Raise your hand if you’ve ever had to choose between waiting to see a doctor and missing a class. That is all.
  • 8:40’s at SIPA: Truly unfortunate. Or, honestly, all 8:40’s in general.
  • Schermerhorn Extension: The bowels of this building are an indecipherable labyrinth. Do not try to find the bathroom. Do not “just see if it’s around the corner.” You will get lost, you will end up in Fairchild, and you will not find your bathroom.
  • Housing Lottery: Shirley Jackson’s sequel to “The Lottery,” except instead of being stoned to death you just have to be that one person in your Wallach suite who isn’t part of the friend group.
  • Midterms Within the First Month of School: False advertising, tbh.
  • Places on Campus With No A/C: Bonus points if it’s where you live!! Embrace the heat! Let sweat be your highlighter!
  • Open Dig Inn Containers in Butler: Such stank. Like, you can be that person, but just know that everyone smells your food and probably hates you.
  • The New Joe Coffee in Dodge: RIP buying snacks/coffee with Dining Dollars during your film class break.

JJ’s (sweaty) Place via Columbia Dining