“I knew how this would be settled in the animal world” – Cady

A new academic year is now in full swing, and you’re either still in the honeymoon period or already finding grievances with your roommates or suitemates. Maybe you’ll throw in the proverbial towel over the pans your roommate used without asking, or your suite has decided to buy a microwave that not everyone wants. The reality is, everyone has to share space. And especially for those of us in suites or apartments, there’s a lot an apartment needs that requires agreement (and cash) from everyone. Luckily, Senior Staff Writer Jennifer Nugent and new writer Julia Delgado are here to outline some potential systems to facilitate the conversation and hopefully avoid an apartment cold war.

• Cash First: This works well for people who have to buy their own hand soap, dish soap, paper towels, etc. Essentially, at the beginning of the semester everyone puts a set amount (a good first amount is $20) into a jar/secure space that is reserved for communal purchases. Then, whoever is going to be the one  buying these items can take from the pot and not worry about coordinating four sets of payments (or doing that math). This works well when one person, or a rotating schedule of the group, is in charge of doing the buying.
• Cash Last: In reverse, this method works if a suite decides on items or groceries the entire suite wants. In this case, someone buys all of the goods and afterwards divides the cost evenly among all the people in the suite. Here, not only is cash easy to use, but apps like Venmo (ideal for exact change you may not have on you!) can work just as well.
• Buying bigger items: So you all want a microwave, but no one can agree on a type – and that’s just one of the things you have to buy! One way to start this conversation is by asking what everyone is comfortable with having, and who is used to which items. If someone doesn’t use a microwave, that’s okay! If one person really wants a new trash can and another can’t live without a toilet paper stand, that’s fine! But you need to negotiate and have open conversations. Perhaps even bring in an RA, to help facilitate discussion between you and your roommates on what’s best for the suite.

• Paying for things: Don’t assume that your roommates have the same socioeconomic background as you. Start by looking at the cheapest thing, and build up from there if everyone agrees. If you really want something and are planning on taking it to your next domicile, maybe an individual purchase is best. Sharing could then be up to you; decide if you wish to share the item of if it’s strictly a personal investment.
• Recycle: Everyone brings something to the apartment (no, not your sparkling personality), so see what everyone is willing to share before you go on a spending spree. Make sure not to volunteer things that you’re going to pass by every day resentfully, loathing the public use. Be honest!
• Open Communication and Contracts: Sometimes, it’s best to write down your suite’s decisions. For this, an outline of a suite or roommate’s discussion could benefit and remind everyone to always be respectful and conduct themselves in good faith. If a suitemate wants to bring a guest over, have them let you know as soon as possible so you are aware. If you aren’t comfortable speaking up about a matter- which is totally fine!- then have it written down somewhere, so that everyone knows your boundaries and wishes.

It can be stressful to live with others, especially if you or one of those people are not used to sharing spaces or managing their time. That’s all okay! Just be open to discussion and compromise. And there are also resources you can utilize if you need: perhaps your RA or someone in Residential Life, or even a friend who can be a third party viewpoint. Be confident and respectful – the keys to living with others always starts with you!

Only one can win via Shutterstock