Gore-Tex, for the feet.

Ricky Wolff is a second semester senior and newly minted (LateNite) Bwog guest writer who recently gave up trying to find an internship. Nevertheless, we all must push on.

Ambling past the familiar Tom’s facade, the author noticed peculiar logos plastered on the oft-photographed windows, and fashionable young people occupying the booths usually reserved for hollow-cheeked math majors intimidated by the Hungarian scene and freshmen who don’t know any better. Intrigued, and quietly terrified that Tom’s had sold out to corporate America in some sort of cynical marketing ploy, Bwog decided to engage in a little LateNite™  investigative reporting, and found evidence that even in post-fact America, there’s still room for a little honest, tasteful irony. In Tom’s, of all places.

As it turns out, our fears were misplaced: boutique Teaneck, NJ sneaker outlet Packer Shoes was hosting a media event tonight ahead of the Friday morning launch of their new “Scary-Cold” line, a collab with Asics and New Era. The Tom’s connection runs deep – the kicks, burnt orange suede body, sleek black leather heel and toe, ballistic mesh laces, are inspired by George Constanza’s ludicrously outsized Gore-Tex from the hilarious “Dinner Party” Seinfeld episode. In the era of the $500 Yeezy infant shoe, it’s heartening to find a sneaker that’s wearable and stylish and doesn’t take itself overly seriously. They’ll retail at a comfortable $170, to boot. Whether Trump Advisor Steve Bannon, Darth Vader impresario and Seinfeld financial backer, will get a cut of the royalties, the author was unable to ascertain.

Packer Shoes rep Ryan Moseley, dapper and amiable, invited the author to the official launch party, which kicks off at Tom’s at 8am sharp. The author, thinking he had charmed his way into the exclusive lo-fi high-fashion social scene, was disappointed to find that the event is open to the public – though the public may be interested in snagging one of the 50 pairs of Scary-Cold’s that will be available for purchase. Those who do will also receive a complimentary Tom’s breakfast (authentic diner experience) and something known as a “waterproof Ultraolive dust bag,” whatever that is. The author will be there, trying to convince Packer to follow-up this commendably pared-down Constanza concept with a high-top Kramer kick sometime in the near future.

Fun shoes via Packer Shoes