This weekend, Bwog Writer Gabrielle Kloppers took a break from her usual weekend debaucheries to attend the annual Diplomatic Ball, hosted by Georgetown University. As the event featured multiple Ambassadors from various countries, here she will recount her experiences as the Ambassador of Columbia University.

Becoming the Ambassador of Columbia University was a rather large step up for me. I wasn’t sure I was up to the task, especially when I missed my morning bus. This meant I would only arrive at 6.30pm, cutting my timing extremely close. With this in mind, I got dressed in my formalwear (stolen from my roommate) in the bus station bathroom, knowing I wouldn’t have time to get properly dressed later. Suffering from motion sickness, I nearly threw up on my lovely jumpsuit. It was a rough start for the Ambassador of Columbia University, I lamented as I attempted to create a smoky eye look in the back of a taxi using only liquid eyeliner.

My thoughts of a disaster were ill founded. I would be the best representative Columbia University has ever known! Arriving at the illustrious Organization of American States building, I felt dwarfed by the immense size of the imposing neo-Classical structure. Nevertheless, imbued with the power and prestige of my role as Ambassador for Columbia University. I would not feel intimidated by this monolith!

At first, I spent my time hovering gingerly at the snack table, sometimes rotating to another snack table, in an effort to avoid the schmoozing and small talks I knew was inevitable. I needed to get out there and represent Columbia effectively. I did so by dancing raucously to ‘Bad and Bougie’. Some students approached me in a casual manner, impressed I am sure by my VIP status.

However, my true interaction as Ambassador of Columbia University came in the line for the photo booth. As I was getting down to ‘Uptown Funk’, an actual ambassador starting dancing with me. I had achieved true diplomatic ideals. I, however, did not reach the true heights of diplomatic interaction that evening. This was left to a vague acquaintance who was spotted being grinded on by an extremely intoxicated VIP, clutching a bottle of clear liquor.

I represented Columbia University admirably; my only wish is that ‘Ambassador for Columbia University’ was an actual position so I could’ve had my $70 ticket comped.

image from PublicDomainPictures