As ABC (Activities Board at Columbia) has their final meeting this Wednesday, Bwog thought that it would be helpful to give a quick guide to how to achieve recognition for any student who wishes to start an organization! Semi-literate Bwog Writer Gabrielle Kloppers is here to give you the lowdown.

This brief guide to how to achieve Activities Board at Columbia recognition is from my (jumbled) perspective only and does not reflect the actual process to a substantial extent. Or maybe it does. Apply to form a student organization and you too will know the trials and tribulations.

  1. Come to Columbia INSPIRED to start something new. You will and must leave your legacy on our great school. Let’s face it, this is the only way. You’re not the next Neal Gorsuch.
  2. Realize that to get money, or anything help at all in this quest, you will need ABC recognition. Note: ABC stands for Activities Board at Columbia, or as I prefer to call them, the Activities Bureaucratic Commission.
  3. Note: to form an organization, it will take 2 or 3 semesters to get Columbia accreditation. Yes, 2 or 3 semesters. So that wine-drinking club you want to form? You’ll actually be 21 by the time it gets off the ground!
  4. Then comes the frightening interview. They stand around watching you with suspicious eyes, certain you are trying to steal Columbia funding to buy a beer pong table.
  5. The interview: is very vague. Maybe accreditation is just a lottery?
  6. If you by chance survive the perils of the interview, you will be assigned an advisor…
  7. … Who will advise you to change everything about your original idea
  8. Final Columbia Achievement Unlocked: Complete disillusionment

ABC blocks via