Just another crossed Columbia student.

Here we are again: you, Bwog, and a long break that separated us apart. With five days off for Thanksgiving, Bwog Staff made sure to have some fun, get into sticky situations, and do the most, per usual. Below are some highlights of our weekend, carefully curated just for you.

Bwog with Family and Friends:

  • Had to explain the phrase “I’m back on my bullshit” to my grandma after I accidentally said it aloud while downloading the Animal Crossing app.
  • Found out my parents got my younger brothers a car that they’ve all been keeping secret from me.
  • Defended philosophy as a good use of ones time in college because what is a family gathering without someone questioning my liberal arts degree.
  • Hung out more with my aunt’s dog more than I spoke with my brother.
  •  Danced around the kitchen with my mom.
  • Hooked up with my ex from high school.
  • I tried to push my hair back when a boy was looking at me and I ended up almost throwing my laptop off my desk.
  •  Met with a friend from high school primarily to see her dog which I have been missing for the past three months.
  • Played some intense games of Uno with my family. Lost every time.
  • Surprised my mom by visiting her at work and the first thing she said was “You look like a hooker.”
  • Survived staying with my family for four days.
    • Did not survive staying with my family for four days.
  • Threw a napkin at my father across the Thanksgiving dinner table when he started to bring up Trump’s new tax plan.

Bwog Out and About:

  • Managed to hold a conversation with my Uber driver in Chinese, but ended it by telling him that he spoke England well.
  • Saw a fellow Columbia student at a hometown party who subsequently proceeded to avoid me like the plague.
  • Was forced to drive thirty minutes half-blind/without my contacts because I accidentally broke them at my friend’s house the night before.
  • Spent 3 days in Maine with no WiFi or cell service. Tried watching The Fellowship of The Rings on a flashdrive to stay entertained. Fell asleep half way through.
  • Saw a woman driving a car that had a Mexican, Iraq, and Imperialist Japanese flag on it. The woman was wearing Mickey Mouse ears and waved at us as we drove by. I’m still trying to find the relationship between the flags.
  • Met some Mormons for the first time! Really nice people, now own a copy of the Book of Mormon.
  • Smoked weed for the first time with my sisters in the playground of our old elementary school.
  • Spent over 24 hours total on Grayhound buses in the past week.
  • Went to a party at Wellesley College where there were more boys than girls

Bwog and Food:

  • Had the food of the gods – a Whataburger honey butter chicken biscuit – for the first time in months <33
  • Went to the dentist, where they told me I had two cavities and the beginnings of gum disease. Need to get a $500 « deep cleaning procedure » and tooth fillings. Last time I went to the dentist 6 months ago, they told me to buy a Sonicare, that would fix my teeth. Instead my teeth got worse.
  • Used marshmallows that expired in 2015 to make my fave Thanksgiving item, sweet potatoes with marshmallows. The expired marshmallows sucked and ruined it.
  • Had actual Mexican food for the first time in months (thanks SoCal!)
  • Went to In-N-Out almost every day back home.
  • Thought I peed my bed but just fell asleep on top of a bunch of grapes.
  • Gained back all the weight I’ve lost this semester in less than one week.

Bwog and Alcohol:

  • Drank a disgusting mix of diet coke and raspberry vodka; ate only garlic foods the next day to nurse my liver back to health.
  • Successfully opened a bottle of wine for myself for the first time.
  • Sent 4 drunk texts saying “I’m not drunk.”
  • Got asked by three different people if I was an alcoholic based on the content I post on my finsta (the answer is no).
  • Promised myself that I wouldn’t drink for the rest of the semester. Told my roommate, got laughed at.
  • Went to a liquor store with my mother and she purchased me an ~expensive~ $35 bottle of wine.

My friend every weekend via Public Domain