A big ball.

Every wondered to yourself what Columbia Men’s Basketball Coach Jim Engles thinks to himself at night? Returning sports staff writer Gloriana Lopez takes us for a quick jaunt through the coach’s mind.

4:01pm: The women’s team just won their game! Hopefully we’ll have two wins today thanks to that great pep talk I just gave the guys.

6:10pm: This game is off to a good start. A little close but we’re winning so far. We’ll be ok as long as we don’t mess up.

7:15pm: Nevermind.

7:36pm: WE WERE WINNING BY 10 POINTS!!!! Cornell isn’t even that good!!!!

7:37pm: I miss Luke Petrasek. He would have known what to do.

8:05pm: HOW DO YOU LOSE AGAINST CORNELL BY ONE POINT!?!?! Not even the football team was this bad this season!!!!!!

10:35pm: Tried to console Mike Smith on the ride back to NYC. Couldn’t hold back the tears. Mike ended up holding me. I hate my job.

11:11pm: Just checked the Ivy League coaches’ group chat. They’re all making fun of me. Am I the new Pete Mangurian?

2:09am: Got dropped off at 116th and Amsterdam. Went back to my office, got my special stash of absinthe and cried.

3:33am: Walked into 1028…1017…1020? Whatever that bar all the kids like is called. Took three double tequila shots with Al Bagnoli. Asked him to take my place as coach. He turned me down. Cried on his shoulder.

4:21am: Woke up underneath my desk with five missed calls from Conor Voss.

5:43am: I wonder if NJIT would take me back…

6:02 am: Called them and left a message!

9:05 am: They called back. Hopefully some good news…

9:07: No words, just hysterical laughter. Oh well, there’s always next weekend!

Ball via Max Pixel.