The revolution will happen!! After a shot of Bacardi!!
It’s that time of year again! I am writing this in Butler instead of my bed like I usually do. That’s how you know it’s reading week. Our Bwog members had one last round of fun before hitting the books (or not, we don’t judge) for finals. Enjoy the stories from this weekend from us truly. If you have a story that you want to have added to this, email email@example.com with it and we will put it in!
Bwog in the City:
Went to see Book Of Mormon with my dad. Didn’t realize there was going to be so many clitoris jokes.
Went to 1020 with my dad. Received many texts from concerned friends asking why I was sitting at the bar with a 50 year old man.
Traveled to Brooklyn just to get a ramen burger. (It was so fucking worth it.)
Saw a movie at the Tribeca Film Festival only to find out it was literally all about incest :/
My boss rented out Tao for his birthday. I went and then had my internship revoked the next day.
Helped my sis move out by acquiring a bunch of her old clothes and lugging the rest to housing works- was rewarded with papaya smoothies, BEC on a rosemary biscuit, and a hibiscus donut.
Finally befriended the other regulars at the 110 Starbucks (Tom- the cycling organist, and Walter- the retired engineer who worked for NASA), only for Starbucks to close down for renovations that will for sure take FOREVER. There was a lot of bonding and tale-regailing going on and I’m already in mourning.
Spent two hours at the Apple Store late (too late!) Friday night to get my phone fixed.
Babysat the child of the current Eliza Doolittle.
Maybe got a job at a juice bar for the summer.
Had two brunches, back to back, immediately followed by a darty then a gala I went to tipsy and FINALLY a picnic, all spanning from 11 AM to 7 PM.
Pierced my frontal helix! learned what a frontal helix is approximately 6 minutes before piercing.
Went downtown with two of my friends who vaguely know each other and made them bond over their love for me.
Went home and spent some quality time with my sisters. Had to see my creepy uncle but it was worth it in the long run. #badbitches.
Bwog on Campus:
Stumbled into my RA on the way back from my weekly Riverside trip. Tried to play it cool by going in for a fist bump. Failed to pull said fist bump off. Still haven’t recovered from the embarrassment.
Received ~two~ internship offers in one day! Had to turn down the one that I was more excited about, though, as it’s unpaid and I’m broke.
Fell down the stairs at Beta and scraped my knee badly. Had to use a friend’s shirt to wipe the blood off my knee (she was sober too — don’t know why she would allow me to use her shirt)
Had a professor straight up tell me that my 12 pg paper I turned in had no argument and that I have to redo it all over the course of the weekend. Pray for me.
Got smoked out by someone in my Spanish class.
Ate a raindrop cake.
Drank rum with another Bwog Staffer in my room until 4 AM, when my roommate came and kicked her out.
Watched so much Planet Earth while high.
Listened to Janelle Monae’s new album so goddamn much.
Obtained a gold kazoo.
Liked every Hamlet related tweet I could find.
Woke up so hungover that every time I swallowed water I tasted Bacardi.
Drank before/during/after varsity show with Bwog, then went to Beta’s beach party (drank more), and ended up totally wasted by the time I was at the midnight performance of Hamlet.
Saw two Shakespeare tragedies in one weekend.
Played rage cage and beer pong with vodka shots in place of beer.
Bwog and Love:
Had my friends diffuse the awkwardness of thirdwheeling by calling us and acting like a throuple/li>
Semi-talked to the guy I’ve been meaning to #clean things up with but did so by yelling “HI WE HAVE BEEF” in the Beta chapter room while he was scheming a girl lmao.
Finally made the male friend i’ve been meaning to after all year of looking for decent men.
Made peace with a hookup after months of awkwardness in class.
Got invited to Beta formal without a date.
Saw a former hookup from last year to whom I haven’t spoken since February 2017, who doesn’t go here, at 1020, and got my friend to get him banned from the place.
Successfully avoided flirting TOO heavily with my crush despite my complete lack of drunk self control.
FINALLY got with this guy I’ve had a crush on for like a month. Ended up chilling in his room and now my body is all sore and I got 0 hours of sleep.
Had a past hookup threaten to fight my best friend over me.
Was told by the guy I’ve liked all semester that we’d be dating if he didn’t meet the person he’s currently dating first.
Leaned into the lesbian stereotype and asked my gf if I could (temporarily) move in with her for a couple of weeks in May.
Bwog and Striking:
Went to more days of this damn TA protest than my TA.
Stole a drum at the picket line and inadvertently became the leader of the movement for about 10 minutes.
Chose my last week of college to get really into student activism and joined an occupation.
Wore a felt hat to the picket line and have literally never felt whiter.
If you think that YOU felt white, just know that I wore salmon shorts to the picket line on Friday. I couldn’t bear to look at myself for the following day and a half.