Honestly one of the most terrifying things ever.

Another week, another messy weekend. Bwog Editor Thomas Saenz has collected the weekend’s best (or worst) events that Bwog Staff underwent for your enjoyment. If you have any weekend stories you want to be added, send us them at tips@bwog.com and we will add them!

Bwog and Alcohol/Drugs:

  • Decimated some NYU Republicans at beer pong.
  • Got high and painted two of my best friends naked.
  • Got high with my future suitemates <3 in Riverside Park which I have never seen more busy than that night.
  • Smoked in my room for the first time and became That Person in the hall.
  • Drank kosher for Passover whiskey which apparently exists?
  • Sent the most polite, grammatically correct drunk message I have ever sent in my life.

Bwog and Love:

  • Hooked up with a Jamaican dancer I met at a Lower East Side bar (after climbing on stage and insisting he dance with me).
  • Fell deeper in love with a deeply unavailable man.
  • Hooked up with beautiful beautiful but unattainable NYU boy again.
  • Went on a tinder date with a guy who is writing a Forrest Gump song on his guitar.
  • Had the worst hookup experience of my life; still reeling from it days later.
  • Sat on my boyfriend’s fire escape and peoplewatched while eating cold beef noodles.

Bwog and the City:

  • Got too lit at a Smiths tribute band show and tried to hug fake Morrissey.
  • Went thrift shopping!
  • Walked from 14th street to campus.
  • Took my friend’s dog to a bar full of other dogs where u can drink and chill with your dog.
  • Visited a corporate law firm and decided I wanna sell out.
  • Packed up my deceased grandmothers house and witnessed a family fued over expensive paintings.
  • Couldn’t fully show my friend nyc bc i was/am so overwhelmed by work.
  • Walked 10 blocks and 3 avenues for acai. Ate said acai in Central Park. It was very good.
  • Watched Phantom Thread twice in a single day (my roommate’s review: WTF WAS THAT?!)
  • Went to my roommate’s home in Brooklyn with all of my other roommates for dinner!! So fun.
  • Almost got caught stealing from Urban Outfitters.
  • Successfully stole from Sephora.
  • Got so sick that I had to go home. Was sweating through my coat on the LIRR.
  • Went to church of the epiphany and hung up prayer ribbons for Mama Welsh, twas very wholesome and moving but pretty sure I’m still damned.
  • Had an hour and a half long conversation with a woman in Starbucks who (among other things) told me that feminism was a CIA instigated movement that aimed to increase the number of taxable citizens.
  • Danced to dancehall and sadboi DJ sets at a Brooklyn bar.
  • Transported my grandmothers ashes in a Starbucks via iced coffee box and TSA was not pleased.

Bwog and the Holidays:

  • Went to two Seders.
  • Almost cried because I hate homemade horseradish, but it was worth it.
  • Spent over $100 on Easter brunch. Regretted nothing.
  • Realized the Seder I was at didn’t have matzo ball soup and almost walked out in the middle of the Hamotzi. Stole a ton of chocolate covered raisins from said Seder.
  • Witnessed a great fight between my Trump supporting step grandmother who’s 40 and my die hard liberal mother at my Seder.
  • Had a Passover dinner with my family, argued over politics, and tears were shed.
  • Went to a Seder & got high afterwards with a really cool dude.
  • Went to Central Park for a picnic on Easter, then proceeded to go to St. John the Divine for the first time after to look at the art.
  • Left my roommate’s family’s Seder with four extra bottles of wine, to split between three people.

Bwog on Campus:

  • Found out that the guy after whom Barnard is named is a third cousin of mine???
  • Shaved my legs for the first time in about 20 months.
  • Realized how lapsed of a Jew I am.
  • Found out my guitar cracked because i don’t play it enough?
  • Met a Georgetown junior at a party who later followed my friends and i back to my room; didn’t find out his name till the next day.
  • Went to Hewitt and we didn’t finish dinner before the dessert section was closed off; so we went to Shake Shack right after. It was cool bc the guy let us swipe into Hewitt for free.
  • Went to a bougie dinner in a decked-out Diana cafe with butter shaped like little flowers. Shoutout to the Tow fam.
  • Had 6 interviews in 1 day and almost died.
  • Finally got the Columbia Crush post I wanted.
  • Witnessed the South Asian wedding on Low.
  • Started eating a slice of pizza at a frat party. Pizza was brutally stolen. Still on the lookout for the culprit :(
  • Slept.
  • Took a hiatus from friends/social media bc I hoed myself out so badly last week. Still don’t know what to do with myself.
  • Died in the Oregon Trail and was eaten out.
  • Became incapacitated by severe period cramps. Love my uterus! <3

Something for your nightmares via Bwog Staff