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Senior Wisdom: Henrietta Steventon

We want that hat. And those dogs. And those dogs’ hats.

Our last senior wisdom of the day is from Henrietta Steventon, Latenite extraordinaire. Read on for advice about theater, British accents, stress, and more.

Name, School, Major, Hometown: Henrietta Steventon, Columbia College, English Major, Hometown: Oxford, England/ Urenui, New Zealand

Claim to fame: Playing a drunk old woman in every student theatre production/ kissing Lil Dicky sophomore year.

Where are you going? NYU Tisch Grad Acting Class of 2021!

What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?

1. If you have a British accent and go to an American university, people think you’re a lot more attractive than you actually are. It’s alarming how many Mr Beans there are at this school pulling as though they were Prince Harry just because they pronounce aluminium in a somewhat charming way. Get those points for Gryffindor whilst you still can, fellow Brits.

2. Don’t enter into the ‘How long you’ve spent in Butler’ competition- there is never a winner. Just like the numbers of steps you’ve clocked in on your Fitbit that day or those Instagrams of your slightly-mangled-but-much-loved family pet, the only person who cares about how long you’ve been in Ref is you. The sooner you finish your citations, the sooner you can pour the libations. Everyone takes a different amount of time to be brilliant, so turn out some cracking work that you’re proud of, then close your laptop and affirmatively answer that ‘MEL’S?!’ text, for goodness sake. Don’t dwindle your college years away taking all-nighter selfies simply for the purpose of bragging about how little sleep you got. On this note, don’t be ashamed of getting a good night’s sleep. ‘I only love my bed and my Mom, I’m sorry’ has become a dead horse of a caption that’s been flogged more times than the poor mare in Crime and Punishment (#justlittleLitHumthings) but it’s also an excellent mantra for college – remember to call your parents and get some rest.

3. A golden retriever is different from a yellow labrador. I found this out last year and am frankly still reeling from the news.

“Back in my day…” Morningside Heights had character.

Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: I was the first person ever to be recruited to play D-1 Rage Cage at Columbia.

What was your favorite class at Columbia? Diabolical Dramas. And it was a seminar in Pupin, which really says something.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Americans do neither well so living sans either of them wouldn’t be too much of a sacrifice.

Whom would you like to thank? My parents who I would absolutely not be here without and my brother who is more brilliant than I shall ever be. My best friends. Anyone who has given me the chance to write or perform at Columbia- truly, thank you. Anyone who has taken my song request for ‘Mr Brightside’ at a party. Anyone who has nodded and written down a point I’ve made in seminar- you don’t know how happy you’ve made me. The professors who have given me As. William Shakespeare.

One thing to do before graduating: Latenite.

Any regrets? No Ragrets. In the words of Samantha Jones, ‘If I worried what every b**** in New York was saying about me, I’d never leave the house’.

Photo via Henrietta Steventon

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  • drakedaddy says:

    @drakedaddy Don’t lie you definitely found out advice number 3 this year at a Shabbat meal

  • don't know u says:

    @don't know u loved this wisdom thx much

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