you little fucker

The average Columbia student is inconsistent. Will they read every assigned reading? No. Will they meet every deadline given to them? Probably not. Columbia stress culture is undeniable: late nights in Butler soon become early mornings, and what has changed, besides the change of date? Nothing. If anything, students become more stressed with work that seems to never end.

Columbia students, pulling long hours, are dependent on coffee. We might be the most sleep deprived school in this country, so isn’t it safe to assume that a large portion of the student body drinks coffee? If this assumption is true, then why the hell are John Jay coffee cups so much smaller than Ferris cups?

A big reason why I don’t eat at John Jay in the morning is because their coffee cups are too damn small. The students of Columbia University might be unorganized, without sleep, stressed, and inconsistent, but we depend on coffee. A lot of us (myself included) don’t feel like spending money on overpriced Joe’s when we can easily swipe into a dining hall and get the caffeine I need. Even though my first class starts at 11, there is really no guarantee that I will stay up for the whole class if I drink from the small cups that are offered at JJ’s and John Jay. I’ll be honest: even if I drink from the normal sized Ferris coffee cup, I will most likely need a second cup of coffee during my day; this does not mean that John Jay can’t step up.

John Jay, I am now looking to you. I don’t want to have to squeeze through the crowds of Ferris so I can get a slightly larger cup of coffee. You have so much going for you: more space, flavored water, and an impressive dessert collection, but you can be so much more.

In conclusion, #TeamFerris. John Jay, you have potential. For Columbia, please be better.

miniature coffee cup via Bwog Staff