Today’s first senior wisdom is from Ben Hord, toilet seat maestro, who spent a lot of time on the Pupin roof and lowered a lot of curves.
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Ben Hord, CC, Astrophysics/History, Dobbs Ferry, NY
Claim to fame: Almost crushing someone with a radio telescope falling from Pupin roof, the Starbites podcast, former CUMB Spirit Manager, answering angry research emails at 3am so I can get my name as the last author on science papers, playing a toilet seat.
Where are you going? I’ll be pursuing a Ph.D. in Astronomy at the University of Maryland in the fall (if Emlyn Hughes will please just give me at least a C in Quantum Mechanics).
What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022? If you don’t enjoy it, don’t do it. If you’re not doing well, don’t worry. If you don’t succeed, don’t give up.
“Back in my day…” If you didn’t almost die on the Ferris staircase, were you even a Columbia student? Ollie’s was not on fire. They kicked your drunk ass out of JJs at 1am.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Someone has to lower the curve. That person is me. You’re all welcome. Also I can eat more surf and turf than you.
What was your favorite class at Columbia? Either Observational Astronomy with David Schiminovich or Merchants, Pirates, and Slaves with Carl Wennerlind. One involves a field trip and the other involves pirates, so it’s really too close to call.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Any oral sex without cheese is not oral sex I’d like to have, so I’d say oral sex.
Whom would you like to thank? The dining hall staff in JJs at 3am, Wikipedia, my parents, the Academy, etc.
One thing to do before graduating: Unzip PrezBo’s skin suit to reveal his true lizard-like form.
Any regrets? Spending more time on my schoolwork than with my friends. Not taking more semi-usable junk from the tech graveyard beneath Uris. Not taking more free stuff from Columbia in general.
Image via Ben Hord