Need someone to cheer you on when you’re destined to fail? Gloriana has some experience in that field and more in this Senior Wisdom.
Name, School, Major, Hometown: Gloriana Lopez, Columbia College, Anthropology, San José, Costa Rica.
Claim to fame: #1 fan of Columbia athletes (but not athletics), former Bwog sports adjacent ™ , token Latin American international student of CUMB, that Orgo Night script reader who couldn’t turn pages, “that girl who plays the drums and is super loud”- Columbia Men’s Basketball, former Civil Engineer who decided to obliterate her job prospects by switching to Anthropology.
Where are you going? Back home :( . I’ll try to be an adult, get a job, apply to grad school, all that fun stuff.
What are 3 things you learned at Columbia and would like to share with the Class of 2022?
I would like to quote my friend Evan who once said: “There are three things I have learned from Gloriana: 1. Always be yourself, 2. You can never be too enthusiastic and 3. If life gets too hard, you can always transfer to CC”.
Allow me to elaborate on these:
1. You do you. This means you should pick classes you are excited about (although sometimes that is hard), and find your people (which is also kind of hard here). Don’t worry about what other people are doing if you are happy with what you are doing, whether it is taking 6 classes and being in 23 organizations or taking 3 classes and never leaving your room. Have fun and take advantage of what this city and this school have to offer in a way that makes you happy.
2. This is kind of related to the first point but honestly don’t be afraid to be completely passionate about something, anything. Also go to Columbia sports events, which I am super enthusiastic about. And no, I am not talking about just Homecoming or that one men’s basketball game all Greek organizations have to go to. Actually go to a track and field meet, or a volleyball, soccer, lacrosse, baseball… game. We have some great teams and incredibly talented athletes that are an absolute pleasure to watch (shoutout to Camille Zimmerman (CC’18) for being the #GOAT and Sarah Hardie (CC’18) for letting me fangirl over her during Senior Boat Cruise — look them up they are seriously amazing athletes).
3. Evan is in SEAS and he doesn’t know shit about CC, so that is why he thinks CC is easier. Either way, life is hard. College is also hard, but it is particularly shitty in this pressure cooker of a school. So, whenever you are not feeling great reach out to people, your friends, your RA, a professor you feel comfortable talking to, just don’t keep it to yourself. You are not alone. Also as a frequent flyer at CPS this is what I have learned: schedule appointments with post-doctoral fellows. Although they are only at CPS for a year, they have more time and flexibility.
“Back in my day…” Orgo Night was in Butler 209 and people could actually protest inside the library without being kicked out.
Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: My parents decided to have unprotected sex and abortion is illegal in Costa Rica.
What was your favorite class at Columbia? Anthropological Theory II with Mara Green: My only all female class at Barnard and it was perfection. Mara is an amazing professor, she’s delightful, she’s chill and more importantly, she is my spirit animal. Just take a class with Mara.
I have also had great core professors, so take Humberto Ballesteros for Lit Hum, Christina Iglesias was a fantastic UWriting teacher (she now teaches Lit Hum, so you can still take a class with her), Branka Arsic only teaches the second semester of CC but she is absolutely brilliant and Julia Siemon’s Art Hum section is chill, you actually learn a thing or two and also she is pretty great. You’re welcome.
Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? Cheese has never disappointed me, so I’ll give up oral sex anytime.
Whom would you like to thank? Oh damn, where do I start? I guess my parents for still paying for my education even after I told them I no longer wanted to be an engineer. My siblings, JJ9, my friends (special shoutout to my friend Liz for being a dramatic hoe about me not writing something specifically about her, and for tolerating my annoying bullshit), the marching band for lowering my GPA and increasing my alcohol tolerance, Humberto Ballesteros for letting me invade his office for hours to talk about my life and my several existential crises, all my fans and also every single person I have annoyed (pretty much every person who has met me).
Also a huge thanks to all the maintenance, dining and public safety staff. They dedicate too much time to this place, do not get properly compensated for it, and most of the time, they are great people to talk to.
One thing to do before graduating: Rent a blue bin, get in it and go down Lerner Ramps.
Any regrets? I plead the Fifth.
Image via Gloriana Lopez