look at that marigold though

Ever wondered why some ways of getting around the city seem to follow all the rules but screw you over anyway, and why others follow no logic at all but are somehow useful? Senior Staff Writer Sarah Harty explains. 

  • Lawful Good: Yellow cabs are an icon of New York that don’t deserve to be overshadowed by their for-hire competitors. There’s something to be said about the convenience of hailing a cab. Also, your actions in taxis have fewer consequences because no ratings.
  • Neutral Good: Find me someone who’s taken the NYC Ferry for something other than a festival. I’ll wait. Regardless of its inaccessibility, the ferry is pretty fast and, hypothetically, a really nice way to commute.
  • Chaotic Good: It’s free, it’s easy to get to, it has beautiful views, and then what do you do? The Staten Island Ferry certainly has its highs and lows. The epitome of chaotic good, the SI ferry brings you not only the Statue of Liberty, but the 30 minute wait in the St. George Terminal to go back to Manhattan.
  • Lawful Neutral: Need to get out of town? The Metro North/Northeast Regional (or if you’re bougie, the Acela) will take you there. They get points for comfy seats, legroom, and tables, but lose them for cost and shitty wifi.
  • True Neutral: The Roosevelt Island Tramway. Costs the same as the subway, and there’s no traffic or delays because it’s literally in the sky. True to its mission, lowkey cool.
  • Chaotic Neutral: The tried and true subway system doesn’t always run on time, or have AC, or offer an even remotely pleasant experience, but it will get you where you are going, eventually. (Exception: The L train, which is pure evil.)
  • Lawful Evil: FHVs (Ubers, Lyfts, and the like) were just capped by the city for a reason. Their exponential growth has brought NYC traffic to LA-levels, and given that they account for like 80% of cars on the road but are only full 40% of the time, must be stopped. Or at least “studied”.
  • Neutral Evil: The slowest city buses go around four miles an hour. The fastest? Not even ten. The $6.50 fare for express translates to a lot more money for not much improvement. Only good for getting across Central Park.
  • Chaotic Evil: NJ Transit takes you to New Jersey. Enough said? Maybe so, but on this train, the journey might be worse than the destination. Its unreliability, penchant for breaking down, and contributions to each “Summer of Hell” are undeniable. Plus, it leaves from Penn Station and not Grand Central, which means you have to go to Penn Station.

Honorable Mentions: Central Park horse carriages (chaotic good), NYPD cars (lawful evil), Access-A-Ride vehicles (lawful good), Citibike (lawful neutral), Barnard/Columbia Shuttles (neutral evil), Blade (neutral evil), NYC Sightseeing buses (true neutral), LIRR (chaotic evil)