Upon arriving to Columbia’s Campus, Bwogger Miyoki Walker noticed something strange. Instead of the North Faces and Fjallraven Kankens she was used to seeing in high school, everyone and their mothers were carrying canvas tote bags. Something else Miyoki noticed? The totes say a lot about the people wearing them.
The New Yorker Tote
You’re an English major who needs everyone at all times to know that you read the New Yorker—nevermind the fact that you actually only read the fiction section. Listen, there’s nothing wrong with being in it for the aesthetic. A real book heaux and possibly a Gemini.
The other New Yorker Tote
You’re definitely a Pisces. You’re currently undecided on your major, but everyone knows you’ll probably end up majoring in English. You tend to procrastinate. You waited a little too long to get the 12-weeks-for-6-dollars subscription deal, and now they went and changed the design. Yeah, it says New Yorker on the top, but does it really count?
You are cooler than the rest of us. Maybe a Scorpio, but you definitely know a lot more about astrology than I do.
The EcoReps Tote
You’re absolutely an Aquarius sun, possibly with a Leo rising. You started out as a poli sci major, but who knows where life will take you! You’re environmentally conscious, or at least you like people to think you are. You also noticed the new tote trend, but haven’t had enough time to go out and buy a more original one. Hey, who doesn’t love a free tote?
The Blue SVR Consent Tote
Big Libra energy. At least a little woke, or maybe you just like the color.
Solid Colored/Patterned Tote
Taurus. Reliable and grounded. You like to play it safe and you know what works for you. Probably majoring in something practical like computer science or anything else miserable sounding.
The “Shakespeare & Company” Tote
Hardworking and self-critical. Straight Virgo shit. Who am I kidding, I ordered this for $12 on Amazon as soon as I saw someone else wearing one.
Totes via Miyoki Walker (Yes, she owns every one of them)