One Bwogger’s earring was recently stolen right out of her ear at a party. I know, right? Hear her account of the fateful encounter below.
So. I’m at this party. Possibly under the influence of some substances. Well, actually, very under the influence. The dance floor is packed. Everyone is sort of bumping and grinding into each other. I’m dancing, having a grand ol’ time, when this girl comes up behind me and starts dancing up on me.
I’m a go-with-the-flow type of gal (and am beyond wasted), so I continue to dance. Now, this girl is laying it on really thick. Like, wandering hands, trying to plant a kiss every now and then, and for some reason my only reaction was to look to my friends, mouth “Who the fuck is this?! What’s going on?!” and shrug, all while still dancing with her. Why I did not walk away, I could not tell you.
But after a while, the unexplainable happened. And the something that happened was something I didn’t think was actually happening when, in fact, it really did happen. You follow? I thought my drunk self was imagining this, but upon leaving the party, I realized that it REALLY HAD HAPPENED!
While this girl was dancing up on me and trying to “make a move,” SHE REACHED UP TO MY EAR, UNHOOKED MY HOOP EARRING, AND FUCKING STOLE IT! RIGHT OUT OF MY EAR! AND AFTER THAT, SHE IMMEDIATELY WALKED AWAY! SHE DISAPPEARED INTO THE CROWD OF PEOPLE, NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN!
In the moment, I remember thinking to myself, “hmmm, it feels like someone is taking my earring out of my ear,” but of course I brushed it off immediately because I was very drunk and probably imagining sensations, and WHO THE FUCK WOULD EVEN DO THAT? BUT APPARENTLY SOMEONE WOULD! Not to mention the fact that it’s a pretty difficult earring to just slip off. There was INTENTION here. And it was a cheap plastic earring from Forever 21! It’s not like it was covered in diamonds or anything.
If you’re reading this, and you are responsible for this absolute betrayal of humanity, I want to know: why? Why did you do this? Was it revenge for me curving you? Were you even trying to make a move in the first place? Or do you just take souvenirs from intoxicated people you dance with at parties? Did you know that IT WAS MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY? That’s right! Not only did this happen, but it was on my BIRTHDAY! Is nothing sacred anymore?
In short: if you’re reading this and you took an earring out of a person’s ear while dancing with them at a party this weekend, that person was me. And I want my fucking earring back.