Managing Editor Zack Abrams has a midterm tomorrow.
I have a midterm tomorrow. I, Zack Abrams, have a midterm tomorrow, March 16th, 2019. “Huh?” you, our dear reader, may be thinking to yourself. “Isn’t tomorrow Spring Break?” Well, clearly not because, as I have mentioned, I have a midterm tomorrow.
I also have a homework assignment due on Sunday at 11:59 pm. That, I guess, is understandable; the class’s problem sets are always due on Sunday nights, we’ve had the assignment and the requisite knowledge for a few days, and you can turn it in online which means that travel plans won’t need to be changed. None of these qualifications apply to the midterm I have tomorrow.
Spring Break is a time for relaxing, recharging, and recuperating from the darkness (both figurative and literal) of the first half of the winter break. Students like me who took on internships or other work responsibilities during winter break may have a week to truly destress. Maybe you’re traveling to a new place, or catching up with friends or family you haven’t seen in a long time. Maybe you’re just enjoying the comforts of home; your own bed, your parents’ home cooking. While you’re enjoying your first Saturday of the break, however, I will be tAkINg A mIDTerM.
To be fair, the midterm is for a Saturday class. To be unfair to me, the class is required for the major I just declared and was only offered on Saturdays. To be fair, the official Columbia calendar says ‘Spring Recess’ lasts from ‘Monday, March 18, 2019 to Friday, March 22, 2019,’ not technically the weekends. To be unfair to me, that’s dumb as shit and I don’t want to take a Ṁ̶̤̓Ḯ̸͚̱̍D̵̝̲̂͒T̷̟̈͑Ë̸͉͎R̶̹͒Ḿ̸͜ ̴̥͂͠T̵͓̈́̀Ò̷͖̂Ṃ̵̾Ȏ̶̗̤͊R̷̡͝R̴̜͈̽̐Ȏ̷͕W̴̻͕̚.
So if you know when Spring Break actually is, let me know. It’s certainly not this weekend because, as I’ve mentioned, I have a midterm tomorrow.
Did you hear? via Pixabay