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Which State Should You Get Your Fake From Based On Your Astrological Sign?

Bwogstrology is back to guide young first years in one of the most integral decisions they will make in college: which state they should get their fake from. Consult your rising sign when deciding! Bwog does not endorse the use of fake identification, but we do find it funny. 

If you are a Leo, you should choose…

CALIFORNIA

Only the hottest and best for our favorite sign. One factor which unites Californians and Leos: neither will let you get very far into a conversation without letting you know.

If you are a Capricorn, you should choose…

IDAHO

Capricorns are very unassuming, but who knew they could actually be complex? Like Idaho, they hold treasures that are only discovered when given the chance.

If you are an Aries, you should choose…

SOUTH CAROLINA

From the state that gave us Frank Underwood and sweet tea, Aries got us feeling peachy about our choice. Everything that comes out of South Carolina is kind of intense, just like the Aries spirit.

If you are a Libra, you should choose…

PENNSYLVANIA

Libras are known for being loyal once they are committed which makes Pennsylvania kind of an odd choice for this sign given their voting record from 2012 to 2016. However, Libras love companionship which is right in line with those Quaker values.

If you are a Scorpio, you should choose…

FLORIDA

No sign serves us more range in the level of chaos they choose to engage with, similar to anything in the Florida news.

If you are a Cancer, you should choose…

OHIO

I think Cancers and Ohioans are both misunderstood in the same way: they are both far worse than they appear.

If you are a Virgo, you should choose…

CONNECTICUT

Virgos are known for their reliability, just like you can rely on Connecticut for being consistently (using polite words) modest. Yes, you’ll encounter wealthy New York ex-pats up here, but these are their “cozy” houses, i.e. still larger than yours but humble.

If you are a Sagitarrius, you should choose…

WASHINGTON

For the sign most known for their advengturous endavours and leadership, we chose the home of Microsoft, a leader in tech and creating multimillion dollar neighborhoods.

If you are a Taurus, you should choose…

NEW JERSEY

Tauruses are known for their stubborness, which on a good day could be perceived as dedication, just as Jersey folks try and try to convince us they’re from the best state (they are).

If you are a Gemini, you should choose…

MINNESOTA

Beyond the obvious twin signs/twin cities gimmick, I didn’t put any thought into this. If you’re a Gemini, fight me.

If you are an Aquarius, you should choose…

something INTERNATIONAL

Common Aquarius traits are progressiveness and humanitarianism, which from what we know about America, it is not. Ergo, Aquarians get the international fake.

If you are a Pisces, you should choose…

MAINE

There are fish here. I don’t know anything about this sign.

See you at 1020!

The final boss via Wikimedia

 

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2 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    @Anonymous It’s not funny. When I was looking for a job in DC they told me to find another state to claim home to improve my chances because there were too many NYers.

  • Honkler says:

    @Honkler Honk Honk

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