Goooood morning, class of 2023! You’ve survived it all: the crazed harpy shrieks of the OL’s on College Walk (“WELCOME TO COLUMBIA! AHH!”), endless lines of moving bins, tearful goodbyes to your parents while being herded like cattle after Convocation, and Becky, who wouldn’t stop gabbing all about her wild night at Carman at breakfast today. So congrats! Bwog is here to help you survive the rest of the NSOP with a run-down of each day’s highlights and a tip or two to keep you afloat during your time at Columbia.

See something wild? Overhear something particularly wacky during NSOP? Tell us, by submitting a tip to tips@bwog.com or via our form.

Today’s Highlights:

• First LitHum Class, 10-11:30 AM | Get ready for a riveting lecture on Toni Morrison and Virginia Woolf presented by Prof. Joanna Stalnaker, chair of Literature Humanities! You should also get ready for the most annoying of your new classmates to pepper the entire lecture with questions, all to flex the fact that they, like, totally read Morrison in middle school and are basically experts in the field (they’re not).
• Through the Gates, 7-8:30 PM | Your NSOP OL’s, Undergraduate Student Life, and Columbia arts groups galore give you a fun, official welcome tonight with performances and videos in Roone! Afterwards, you’ll participate in the annual Columbia tradition of walking through the gates of Broadway as deans and students alike cheer you on.
• RA Night Out, 9:30 PM-12:30 AM | Make merry tonight with your floor, as your RA has planned a special night out in the city for some ~dorm bonding time~. Take advantage of this, because these are the people you’ll be with all year sharing a bathroom with, spending late nights ignoring your problem sets with, wreaking havoc on your floor lounge with, considering the deadly sin of floorcest with, etc. etc.

One Thing To Do Before Graduating: Grab your Ferris to go, pick up a bottle of wine at International, and have a faux-picnic in Riverside Park! There are so many beautiful outdoor spaces in and near Columbia, and you should definitely make use of that before the weather turns no-good-very-bad-terrible in the winter months.

From The Archives: Here’s a throwback to a few years ago, when a professor presenting during FroSci suddenly went full-on Shakira Loco, playing a remix of Drop it Like It’s Hot and death metal while stripping his clothes off. Seriously. This is Bwog’s video for proof.