Menu CATEGORIES

Connect with us

CATEGORIES Menu
All Articles

38 Ways To Decorate The Sad, Still-Empty Walls Of Your Dorm Room

We’ve been at school for only a month (although it feels like at least seven years have passed since Labor Day), and the walls of my room remain tragically, depressingly bare. If you’re finding yourself in a similar unfortunate situation, lament no longer–Bwog staffers have compiled this list of decorative possibilities for adorning those blank canvases!

–Stolen John Jay silverware, adhered with haphazard scotch tape

–Fake ivy vines from Urban Outfitters or the craft store or wherever

–A pelt of skins from all the dead rats down on the bike trail by the Hudson?? Why are they there in the first place???

–A hand-drawn picture from a friend

–A collage of fast food receipts

–All of the flyers clubs put under your door

–Broken fairy lights

–A fire safety notice

–Emergency exit routes

–A picture of a window

–Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

–A subway map

–Shitty children’s crayon drawings, and when people ask who made them, look them directly in the eye and say, “Me, why?”

–Command hooks to hold your tote bag and/or scarf collection (decorative AND functional!)

–A framed picture of your dorm room that somehow already has the framed picture of your dorm room in it

–A picture of Beyonce (stolen)

–Your name, spelled out in blue masking tape

–Postcards from Book Culture

–An abstract art piece created with used tissues

–Deflated balloons

–Syllabi from courses you dropped on day one

–Fairly cheap see-through fabric, hemmed if needed and artfully hung behind your bed, from a fabric store in the Garment District

–Scrap fabric/cheap muslin that you’ve embroidered the shit out of, boom, tapestry

–Pictures of your father in college that look like they were taken from a distance in a scary way like you don’t know who took them or how you got them they just showed up one day

–Rocks

–New York City sidewalk scraps

–A collage of Playbills from all the fun shows you’ve seen!

–A screwdriver, attached with velcro (velcro’d?) to the wall

–Every “lost key” form you’ve filled out at Hartley Hospitality

–A John Jay bagel (attached with cream cheese)

–Condoms (unused), a great talking point for when your mom comes to visit!

–The huge Columbia #1 Dining Experience banner in John Jay

–Toilet seat covers

–NSOP wristbands

–Readings you’ll never read

–Blank sheets of printer paper

–Hair that you chopped off and were supposed to donate to Locks of Love

–Your past psets (to humble yourself)
image via Bwog Archives

Write a comment

Your email address will not be published.

 

Have Your Say

What should you actually Venmo people for?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Recent Comments

The surface-level research and analysis that went into this obvious UW P4 are both grossly negligent and symptomatic of a (read more)
Our First Letter To The Editor: An Anonymous Response to “Yeehaw Columbia”
December 5, 2019
but does it literally apply to an article satirizing white southern fratty colleges made by someone who is southern and (read more)
Our First Letter To The Editor: An Anonymous Response to “Yeehaw Columbia”
December 5, 2019
You need to apply now for summer internships. (read more)
Science 101: So What Are You Doing This Summer?
December 5, 2019
Start posting Columbia Confessions op-eds tbh (read more)
Our First Letter To The Editor: An Anonymous Response to “Yeehaw Columbia”
December 5, 2019

Comment Policy

The purpose of Bwog’s comment section is to facilitate honest and open discussion between members of the Columbia community. We encourage commenters to take advantage of—without abusing—the opportunity to engage in anonymous critical dialogue with other community members. A comment may be moderated if it contains:
  • A slur—defined as a pejorative derogatory phrase—based on ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or spiritual belief
  • Hate speech
  • Unauthorized use of a person’s identity
  • Personal information about an individual
  • Baseless personal attacks on specific individuals
  • Spam or self-promotion
  • Copyright infringement
  • Libel