Who says love can’t be found in the bathroom?

Dear Person Who Leaves Half-Empty Water Bottles Behind,

Do I deserve you? How many times have I sat on the toilet and thought to myself – I must have a drink while excreting? Oh, too many! But now you’ve come into my life, leaving behind water bottle after water bottle. And you are considerate enough to drink it beforehand so there’s just enough for me. I love our shared, though separate, drinking-on-the-toilet excursions and I dread the end of the year when I will no longer find your presents for me by the side of the toilet.

Dear Person Who Leaves the Bathroom Sopping Wet,

Why go outside and play in puddles in the rain when I can just use the bathroom after you? You’ve saved me countless trips down the flight of stairs to indulge my inner three-year-old. And you challenge me too! Leaving the counter sopping wet and forcing me to find a new dry spot for my belongings (and I never do!) No one has the talent to do what you do.

Dear Person Who Leaves Their Stuff Behind for Hours After They’ve Left,

I love your take on our shared bathroom! I’ve been a fool and taking my things out after I’ve vacated the space, but that is quite obviously the wrong route to take! I should be leaving my stuff behind, either in the shower or on the counter, so people know I’ve been there. Why should my presence go unnoticed? Your boldness has inspired me.

Dear Person Who Pushes Against the Door Forcefully When It’s Obviously Locked,

I was just thinking the other day how I knew this was true love. It had all the signs. I was in the shower, thinking about nothing and suddenly my heart skipped a beat when I heard a thud against the door. That must mean love, for every time you do it, I feel my heart flutter a little more.

Dear Person Who Doesn’t Clean the Sink After They’re Done,

Oh, you and your little games! I love trying to identify the weird gray splotches on the sink and what they could have come from! Sometimes they’re easy, like the ones that are obviously from toothpaste (and we use the same brand, this is truly meant to be), but sometimes they’re so mysterious, I’m awake for days afterward, mulling it over. If this letter finds you, please tell me what that stain was from three weeks ago?

Dear Person Who Leaves Their Hair in the Shower Drain,

Marry me.

Water Bottle via Bwog Staff