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It Snew Today

I cannot provide you people with any proof that this happened, but it fucking snew today. 

Picture this: you’re in a sixth-floor classroom in Schermerhorn. You wish you were outside, but seeing as To Live Is To Suffer, you are not. You are bored, so you glance around, your eyes landing on the window to your left–hold on, is it fucking snowing? 

The answer is yes, it is fucking snowing. It might have happened for approximately ten minutes, and there might be no trace of it apart from the dusty looking asphalt on Broadway, but at one point on November 12th, 2019, snow occurred.

Now, what you do with this information is your own business, but here are some recommendations that I gathered from personal experience and Pinterest:

  • Hang up like 12 different sets of fairy lights and put on fuzzy socks.
  • Exploit the dining halls’ unlimited supply of hot chocolate.
  • Swipe me into a dining hall so I can get hot chocolate.
  • Remove yourself from society and read a book.
  • Roll around in the cold, wet grass, pretending it’s snow like some sick fuck.
  • Go outside, exhale, and say “Wow! I can see my breath!”
  • Fry an egg on your radiator.
  • Do a thirst trap photoshoot in the snow in Central Park.

Now that you’ve done this, it is time to kiss autumn goodbye! So long, pumpkin spice! Sayonara, gourds! Today begins the season of the peppermint mocha and wondering if it’s normal for your fingers to get this pale.

Whether this is your first or your thousandth real winter, the Snow Opening Ceremonies is a blessed day that bonds us and allows us to say “omg snow.” So go out, get that light therapy lamp, and frolic in this thirty-two-degree weather!

image of my trek through campus via Wikimedia Commons

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