Today is the first official day of finals, and the Tories won. Cheer up with Bwog in Bed.

Bwogline: The Conservative Party won the UK election yesterday, meaning that Boris Johnson will remain Prime Minister. The Conservatives ran on promises to carry out Brexit; with 368 parliament seats secured, their win is the biggest for the Tories since Margaret Thatcher’s in 1987. (CNN)

Study Tip: When I’m trying to start an essay, I always find that staring at a blank document is really intimidating—but I don’t feel as overwhelmed when I’m writing my thoughts out on a physical piece of paper. I think it works for me because it reduces the pressure I put on myself: I know that what I’m writing will have to go through at least one round of revisions when I type it out.

Music: Dancing Barefoot – Patti Smith

Procrastination Tip: Do some Christmas shopping, window shopping, and/or self-exploration inside the postmodern dreamscape known as www.goop.com. Allow Gwyneth Paltrow to take your mind off exams while also cleansing your mind, body, and soul. Peruse products like this $495 vibrator Intimate Wellness Solution; remind yourself that “nothing is sexier than a confident woman.” Consider gifting a yoni egg to a dear friend.

Overheard: “Of course I’d fuck him. He’s a self-admitted power bottom!”

judgement day via Wikimedia Commons