Menu CATEGORIES

Connect with us

CATEGORIES Menu
All Articles

Dining Halls As The Five Types Of Socks I Own

Do you ever just sit and stare at your sock draw and think to yourself, “what if filled these with coins, butter, or better yet, assigned them to Columbia dining halls?” This bwogger sure did. 

I have five types of socks. This isn’t arbitrary, they each serve a very specific purpose. Except one, whose purpose is that they don’t serve a purpose. Anyway, here we go.

  • JJ’s Place: black calf socks
    • What screams fun, danger, and a side of cheese? It’s my black calf socks. They’re functional, they conceal my feet. I love them.
  • John Jay: beige dress socks
    • I wear these bad bois on the daily, they’re my go to, my ride or die. It’s something I know I’ll always be able to rely on. Sometimes I wear them inside out, but that’s ok. That’s on me.
  • Ferris: white calf socks
    • Sorta lame, right? Like, the worst part about these socks is that they show stains from like the leather on my Birkenstocks. Who would continue to wear such a revealing sock? Well, once in a while when I’m in my room and have some privacy, I’ll slip them on. If you close your eyes, they’re still fine, I guess. I have a complicated relationship with these socks. Sorry.
  • Diana: tan dress socks
    • Each time I wear these socks, it’s like a little surprise to myself. I feel a little extra something that day. Wearing these socks feels like when your favorite Christmas song comes on shuffle in August. How scandalous! (But I’ll still indulge)
  • Hewitt: Costco winter socks my dad bought me in September that I still haven’t opened and have no intention of opening
    • These socks haunt me. I never asked for them, yet they remain in my life. I’m sure there are people out there who would appreciate them, I’m just not that kind of guy.

 

socks via pxfuel

Write a comment

Your email address will not be published.

 

Have Your Say

What should you actually Venmo people for?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Recent Comments

When both parties are drunk or high, why are only males held accountable for their actions while women get a (read more)
“We Have Failed Them”: Building A World Of Better Sexual Citizens
January 27, 2020
Thank you Isabel! This is hopefully a moment in history and this is a great write up! (read more)
“We Have Failed Them”: Building A World Of Better Sexual Citizens
January 27, 2020
this is the funniest bwog article i have ever read, possibly ever (read more)
I Was The Cockroach That Margaret Vandenburg Kicked Out Of Class And Honestly, What The Fuck
January 26, 2020
Columbia’s campus is so beautiful. (read more)
Best Places On Campus To Ache
January 26, 2020

Comment Policy

The purpose of Bwog’s comment section is to facilitate honest and open discussion between members of the Columbia community. We encourage commenters to take advantage of—without abusing—the opportunity to engage in anonymous critical dialogue with other community members. A comment may be moderated if it contains:
  • A slur—defined as a pejorative derogatory phrase—based on ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, ability, or spiritual belief
  • Hate speech
  • Unauthorized use of a person’s identity
  • Personal information about an individual
  • Baseless personal attacks on specific individuals
  • Spam or self-promotion
  • Copyright infringement
  • Libel