Bwog answers some questions that curious aunts,  family friends, hairdressers, and dental hygienists asked you this winter break.

How’s school going? Good? Bad? Fine? Things are hard but other things are fun? I don’t know how to answer this right Aunt Janet because I’ll always either sound conceited or depressed.

Where is Columbia again? I don’t understand how people forget this, it feels like the one fun fact we have about ourselves.

Don’t you have a bunch of required classes? Trying to explain the Core to anyone is a hassle. Yes the classes are required, yes they are annoying, and yes, they all have weird names. If you’re in SEAS it’s even worse – yes the Core is required for everyone, except the engineers, who have to take it, but not all of it, and they can kind choose what to take, but not really? Aaah!

So, what are the Core classes? Do you want a list? LitHum, ArtHum, MusicHum, CC…what? Oh. Right, you don’t know what these words mean. Alright, buckle up, here comes a short essay…

What’s living in New York like? Good, bad, different? You can either go for comedic – “It’s full of rats and garbage!” or sincere “It’s huge, and fun, and I love it!” Again, no right way to answer this without sounding like you either hate NYC or hate your hometown.

Who are your college friends? I don’t know how much detail you want me to go in to, so I’m either going to be really vague “oh, just some people I met that I think are fun” or way too specific “I met my best friend while working on the AOE project, and we realized we were soul sisters, her name is Maggie, she’s a libra, she likes all the same music as me, she has O+ blood, a fear of escalators, and…”

You know, my aunt’s friend’s sister went to Columbia for grad school in the 90s, do you know her? What? Why would I know this random person?

What about my cousin’s friend Marco? Come on now! Just because our campus is small does not mean I know every person on it! Wait…Marco? Is he a junior? Actually, I do know him, he was in LitHum with me freshman year.

I still don’t understand why you didn’t go to *insert local state school*, it is so much cheaper and closer to home! So many reasons! Many of which are none of your business, person I met 5 minutes ago! Maybe it didn’t have my major, or maybe I wanted to get away from home, or maybe I was just an edgy 17-year-old. I don’t understand why I have to justify this choice to you right now.

Have you gotten your grades yet? It’s funny you ask. Because in fact. No! I was informed that SIS is “offline until 1/6”, so it’s gonna be a wait for us all.

CUMB? CUIT? CUEMS? What does CU even stand for? Why is this a question, take a wild guess friend.

You have any plans for the summer? It’s! December! Please! Stop! Asking!

Columbia via Bwarchives