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What To Do On Valentine’s Day At Columbia

Staff Writer Zane gives a list of ideas in case you’re just absolutely lost about what to do on Valentine’s Day.

Hello, Bwog readers. Chances are on Valentine’s Day, you’ll be laying in bed reading old Bwog articles, surrounded by hot Cheetos, chocolate, and tears. Thoughts about if maybe you’d done some things differently, then you and Johnny from seventh-grade might still be together cloud your head. Or maybe, just maybe, you’re one of the lucky few who have welcomed the sweet graces of Love’s open arms. If so, grab your significant other and get moving on this great list of date ideas – or your best friend, or your dog you’re not supposed to have in your dorm room.

1. Walk to Duane Reade, pick up each other’s prescriptions, then make out.
Bonus points: don’t step on any cracks in the sidewalk on your way there.

2. Go to the farmer’s market, don’t buy anything, but complain loudly that there are no farms in New York City. But also ask all the prices. Then make out.
p.s. Please go elsewhere for the making out on this one. The vendors don’t deserve to see that.

3. Kiss as long as possible in the library until you get kicked out. Then make out.
The Butler stacks are a long time favorite of Columbia students.

4. Sit together and think while looking at the thinking statue. Then make out.
Bonus points if you solve the dilemma of existence. Be careful not to think so hard that your ears pop.

5. Sit on the ground and squeeze each other’s blackheads in a chimpanzee fashion. Then make out.
The satisfaction of pus flowing out of each other’s pores is perfect to set the mood.

6. Swipe into Ferris. Bring wine glasses. Fill them with hot sauce. Sit in the weird half booth table things, and stare into each other’s eyes. Then make out.
This probably won’t even be the weirdest thing to happen in Ferris that day.

7. Go to the nearest sports store (?). Buy two razor scooters. Race down Lerner’s ramps. Then make out.
Loser buys dinner!

8. Go to Riverside Park and feed the raccoons. Then make out.
Even rodents enjoy a box of chocolates.

9. Sit in bed with a blanket over your heads in the dark. Ask Alexa to play the Columbia fight song. Cry together. Then make out.
There is nothing sexier than overwhelming school pride.

10. Go to Alma Mater’s statue on Lowe Steps. Light a single candle, hold it between you and your partner, and sit in her lap. Touch foreheads. Breathe. Take in Alma’s power. Then make out.
Legend says if you do this long enough, she comes alive and gives you your diplomas immediately. 


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