Same s***, but now during a global pandemic!

You may not realize this, but Columbia life has prepared you for quarantine better than you could have expected. All those skills we’ve learned are directly applicable to our new existence.

Dismayed by the long lines extending out of your grocery store? Those are the same as the lines snaking out of the EC lobby on a Friday night. Both locations also likely have the same risk of contamination!

Miss your hometown friends who you don’t get to see while you’re away in New York? You still get to do that now! Nothing like being on the same block again, but still having to FaceTime!

Do you long to feel resentment again towards the loud suite at the end of your hall? Guess what? You can now resent your immediate family members, who you are stuck with for days on end! No RA’s in your own home to mediate THAT conflict.

Were you too lazy to go to Milstein, even though it was two minutes away? Well, now you don’t get to go to ANY library. Stay home guilt-free!

Didn’t get any action at school? Yeah, get used to that.

Used to smoke weed out the window of your double while burning an illegal scented candle? Use those crafty skills to find new ways to get high in your childhood bedroom! Instead of smoking to forget about the stresses of school, you now get to smoke to forget the stresses of this new semi-apocalyptic world order!

A stay-at-home order that’s not messing around via Flickr