In the midst of Senior Wisdom season, we’re bringing back an Actual Wisdom from none other than your favorite dean of Columbia College, Dean Valentini, a.k.a. Deantini. 

Since we can’t see him in the flesh anymore, here’s a picture (courtesy of Columbia College).

 Justify your existence in 30 words or fewer: Pantone 292. Beginner’s Mind. Pantone 292. The Core Competencies. Pantone 292. Live Well|Learn Well. Pantone 292. Core to Commencement. Pantone 292.

Claim to fame: 1,350,126 people have seen me perform with Kate McKinnon.

What’s your most valuable or unexpected college experience? Snowball fights on College Walk.

Back in my day… Buell Hall was still on 116th Street.

What’s the craziest student excuse/extension story you’ve heard? No one ever dares ask for an extension in my class.

Would you rather give up oral sex or cheese? That can’t possibly be the exclusive “or.”

What are three things you learned at Columbia? A sundial without a gnomon is called The Sundial. A library without books is called Low Library. A seated woman with a pet owl is called Alma Mater.

What’s your advice to students/academics/the human race in general? In the Beginner’s Mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s mind there are few. Did I really need to say that?

Deantini via Columbia College