Proper planning prevents poor performance.
In case Columbia needs to switch gears in September, I’ve compiled a list of alternative reopening plans.
1. Hold Classes in Taiwan
According to Bwog’s experts, its curve is flat.
2. Hold Classes on Islands And Have Each One Meet On A Different Island
Maine has over 2500 islands, but under 4000.
3. Use Zoom, But Only In Classrooms
4. Buy Cornell
It is time.
5. Get Everyone These Gerbil Wheel Things
Pass the swim test in sweatpants.
6. Cover Everything With Saran Wrap
Not just food.
These are, of course, just suggestions.
But remember, Alvin and the Chipmunks 3: Chipwrecked, the third greatest movie of all time, was also once a suggestion.
Taiwan’s Curve via The Big Bad Bwog Journal Of Medicine
An Island In Maine via Wikimedia Commons
Computerized via Wikimedia Commons
Yankee Stadium via Wikimedia Commons
Cornell via Wikimedia Commons
Gerbil Ball via Wikimedia Commons
Plastic Wrap via Pexels