How To Take The Swim Test At Home
We’ve got some simple solutions to help you fulfill Columbia’s most annoying requirement!
It’s your senior year. You’re in the midst of a global pandemic so you’re stuck back home, but lil ol’ Prezbo still won’t let you graduate until you prove you can float across a pool. But, oh no! There’s nary a body of water in your immediate vicinity, what are you to do? Hopefully, these alternatives will help, otherwise, see you next fall!
- Splish splash! Go take a bath! That has to count for something, right?
- Fill up your kitchen sink and just go for it
- Play ocean sounds while pretending to swim (ie. freestyle swim on your bedroom floor)
- Manifest a vision of you swimming, if you can dream it you can do it! Just believe in yourself <3
- Gather up your tears in an abandoned skate park, you’ve got yourself a DIY pool!
- Jump into the Hudson or any nearby unsanitary body of water, just get a snorkel and you’ll be good
- Photoshop a pic of you in a pool or the ocean (extra points for adding fish and/or seaweed)
- Put on goggles while cutting up onions so that way you can pretend water got into your goggles when swimming
- Watch a POV TikTok of someone swimming
- Break into Prezbo’s house, use his pool
- Print out all your readings and lay them across your floor (you’re swimming in papers)
- Put on your favorite bikini and send a thirst trap to your Dean (just kidding, Bwog does not endorse that. Also, a thirst trap implies the absence of liquid so this might be counterproductive)
- Dive into some WAP (Water And Pools)
- Drink water until you become more liquid than solid and you are your own pool
- Watch the critically acclaimed 2004 American computer-animated comedy film, “Shark Tale”
Picture of you following these instructions from Bwog Archives