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How To Take The Swim Test At Home

We’ve got some simple solutions to help you fulfill Columbia’s most annoying requirement!

Picture this:

It’s your senior year. You’re in the midst of a global pandemic so you’re stuck back home, but lil ol’ Prezbo still won’t let you graduate until you prove you can float across a pool. But, oh no! There’s nary a body of water in your immediate vicinity, what are you to do? Hopefully, these alternatives will help, otherwise, see you next fall!

  • Splish splash! Go take a bath! That has to count for something, right?
  • Fill up your kitchen sink and just go for it
  • Play ocean sounds while pretending to swim (ie. freestyle swim on your bedroom floor)
  • Manifest a vision of you swimming, if you can dream it you can do it! Just believe in yourself <3
  • Gather up your tears in an abandoned skate park, you’ve got yourself a DIY pool!
  • Jump into the Hudson or any nearby unsanitary body of water, just get a snorkel and you’ll be good
  • Photoshop a pic of you in a pool or the ocean (extra points for adding fish and/or seaweed)
  • Put on goggles while cutting up onions so that way you can pretend water got into your goggles when swimming
  • Watch a POV TikTok of someone swimming
  • Break into Prezbo’s house, use his pool
  • Print out all your readings and lay them across your floor (you’re swimming in papers)
  • Put on your favorite bikini and send a thirst trap to your Dean (just kidding, Bwog does not endorse that. Also, a thirst trap implies the absence of liquid so this might be counterproductive)
  • Dive into some WAP (Water And Pools)
  • Drink water until you become more liquid than solid and you are your own pool
  • Watch the critically acclaimed 2004 American computer-animated comedy film, “Shark Tale”

Picture of you following these instructions from Bwog Archives

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